I Consider This, Too Much.

I’m very prepared for a Zombie-type apocalypse. And of all the possible ends to humanity, I think this would have to be the neatest. It’s so cool and metaphorical…and so messy.

What kind of Zombies? My favorite would have to be the ol’virus variety, but I’m open to others…in fact, I’m working on a novel idea that revolves around the idea of a human mind based entirely on primal reactions…and this as a biological weapon. I’ve been considering what I would do in this situation and I realize that when it comes to a zombie outbreak, there’s no way to be prepared…to be a survivor, you have to wing it.

So to be prepared for a Zombie outbreak I am not preparing at all.

It makes a big difference what time of day it is, if I’m at work then my plan will be to escape as soon as trouble begins, likely in the version of a bloodied crazed person that runs into the office…people begin crowding around this poor soul before…screams, more blood…and more zombies.

I’ll hide, before everyone else. It will be the people that leave ASAP that survive…do not hang around and watch, you can do that later when you have safety. Leave and find someplace nearby to hole up, carefully choose people I think should be warned and form a group of survivors, preferably setting up in a supermarket or a building attached to a convenience store.

If it happens while I’m in my apartment, then I feel safe. I’ll have a great view of the roaming zombified and I’ll be pretty safe, the risk of other apartment dwellers going on zombie rages is a risk, I will cover the window with a mattress and wood.

No matter where I go, I’ll need to leave eventually. It will pay to have more people with me incase we encounter zombie crowds on our journey, by being in a group I’ll be upping my chance of survival, and guaranteeing company on this horrific journey.

My last move will be a trip through roads blocked with bloodied cars and highways with moaning dead still in seatbelts, I’ll go to the island and find a walled property, drive in my supply truck and then begin society anew.

The problem with my idea for zombies (Primal rage) is that the ‘zombies’ would actually be healthy people that would eventually form tribes and actively seek out the still sane…and millions of crazy primal people would be pretty hard for anyone to fight.

So maybe there is no happy ending to the zombie outbreak.


If it is the shambling dead variety, then no fear! Wait a week or so until they begin to rot, by that point the teeth will be falling out and they’ll be fermenting in their skins (especially those walking in daylight). Anyway, how do their nerves still work if they’re literally rotting?


So the lesson is, to be a survivor, act quickly and anti-socially.




I have to also admit here that I have occasionally had a surreal moment while walking the streets and coming across the physically or mentally impaired. It might offend some people when I say this, but more then once I have taken a double take because they moved so like the typical zombie (have you seen a typical zombie?), one day I saw two within an hour and had to mention this to a friend, I was ready to run as soon as I saw anymore. How politically incorrect of me, but I am that ready.

smebro smebro
22-25, M
5 Responses Aug 17, 2007

good you are ready, the signal shall be given shortly stay alert

It was the only answer we had at the time. I had whole teams working day and night to fight the outbreak, even as I tried to make the cross country dash to save my wife and daughter... in the end we all learned something from those days of the Dodombies and the Kittizenbies, I think we all learned what it is to love...

I...FREAKING...LOVE YOU!!!! That was the best answer to the zombie attack ever!

Things turned bad too quickly. It seems my foresight was not enough. <br />
I'll never forget the sight off your rotting feathers as your beak chomped down on my hand just as I tried to pull the car door closed...I thought I was done for, for sure.<br />
But I survived with that new found mutation of the zombie virus...the zombie kitten. And I crawled my way towards the 'I was bit but Tardyzombie' group, and I spread the hope of these furry saviors. <br />
And for the joy that those rotting kittens continue to give me...well, nothing could make me happier.<br />
So it was a happy ending.

It would seem you were caught cat-napping by the great EP Zombie Outbreak of 2007!!! ;)