Being pretty is not enough

When I was in school, I never really had someone tell me that I was pretty. I had lots of acnes on my face, which made my face red, and I am always the type that is shy, not really funny or talk to people.
When I started my university (which means no more uniform and total freedom in everything), I started to buy cute dresses and tops. By the way, I had my teeth braced when I was in high school, so now my teeth are alright. The acnes rarely grow on my face that I am 21 now, and I really love choosing clothes that highlight my curves.
Then some people started to tell me I look pretty, although I am not gorgeous, but few strangers told me this. So I know I look much better because I work on it, it is not something that naturally I have (I mean, some people look pretty whatever they wear, or whatever the hairstyle is, but not for me. I have to be careful to maintain a good appearance).
Funnily, when guys are attracted to my appearance, there are some types of guys that make me freaked out, while the others are fun to talk to. When a guy I barely know became overly nice, I know they expect too much from me and it made me back away. While when some guys are just being casual and talk to me like friends, I become comfortable and I might like them after knowing them for a while.
Unfortunately those guys whom I like are taken, while the single ones who like me, so far I am attracted to none of them.
I used to think, "If I were pretty, everything will be much easier!"
But it is not. I still struggle to find the right guy, I still need to study so hard, learning so many hardships, feeling lonely, etc.
Or maybe is it because I am not as gorgeous as, say, Alexis Bledel or Nicole Kidman?
Dreams, oh dreams, how wrong you were...
uggh uggh
26-30, F
3 Responses Aug 4, 2010

I like your story and appreciate your perspective. I would ask you to consider, however, another possibility when it comes to a man appearing overly nice. There might be young men around that are gentlemen, that respect a lady and knows that when she is honorable she should be treated with honor. I admit that I can be nice in order to get a girls attention, but I am often expressing that sense of honor to a lady that seems may appreciate it. Its not always flirting, but I can see how it might be hard to discern, and if you have been hurt/abused in the past, I don't blame you for being on the safe side; but, please don't always assume that when men (perhaps older men, like me) might be acting out of honor and not lust (or at least not all lust). thanks

This story was written almost 4 years ago, so I have definitely learned a lot about guys. Not to say I know everything about them, but I can distinguish niceness from proper, fake, or too flirty ones. I reckon it is best when guys are not flirty but show attention.
Oh yes, I know not all guys act out on lust, but be honest, sexual attraction is a very strong one. So if someone is not strong mentally, they will even subconsciously act on the lust. Time will tell whether they like you for who you are or just to get into your pants.

I agree. Sometimes it does not feel like a gift or advantage to have the discernment, but it is good to have.... But, I hope you don't think that girls are the only ones that need that discernment or ability to distinguish niceness. thanks

Hmm no, I agree that girls can be mean too. I know they can be nice if they want something from you. And I know some girls who use guys for their money...I actually find it difficult too to find a real female friend....

Hey big myth, that avatar is not me hahaha. It's one of my favourite actress from Korea. lol. Not interested to put my pic as avatar. Will stay anonymous.

Agree! I really wish I can find someone like that, who loves me because of my personality. The problem is, I am a shy person, so I guess my personality does not shy like a star. I always try to be myself though, and I really wish someone will like me, who is just ordinary girl.