I Consider My Life Insignificant And Unimportant.

For most of my life, I've been abused, bullied, harrassed or otherwise treated like less than human. I've had enough. I've given life all that I can. I think that people will never see me for the person that I am. I believe that most of the world is very shallow and superficial. I don't understand how the world can be so hateful and cruel so much of the time. I have alot of love in my heart, which I have to keep to myself, for every time that I extend my heart out to others, I just end up hurt inside. I accept that I will never find happiness or fulfillment in this life. I no longer believe in the goodness in humanity. I've read alot on this site, and respect what everyone has written. I feel like I can relate here. I guess I want to say, thank you for a place where I can just be myself and talk about how I feel.
deleted deleted
26-30
16 Responses May 24, 2012

I understand your pain. I grew up in a happy, carefree and good environment with my parents and brothers. However, my ex grew up in a not good environment and broken family. His dad was a womanizers and was a violent abuser that went around hitting his mum, him and his brothers and his mum. I think he was influenced since young and he grew up the same as well also associated with a lot of women and had violent/ hitting tendencies. No matter how good he was trying to do and conceal inside of him, it seemed the chains cannot be broken from him. He had caused me too much pains but now I learnt to move on for I will not let my heart continue to love a man who does not love me.

Don't discuss negativity it will make you feel worse. Be positive.

I like you I didn't know you hurting this bad :( I don't think you should give or anything. And I hope you get around loving people who understand what it means to have a friend and to be one. Sorry for your hurt :(

:)

I strongly believe we all have a purpose. What if it isn't time for yours to be revealed, and you miss it? Everyone is a teacher and a student. Bless you.

You're not unimportant or insignificant. The world is not always cruel, there's still a little good left in it, and the love you have will help make it grow. I am sorry for all that you have been through, but you have to know that you matter, that your life has meaning and significance, otherwise you would not be here.

I know how you feel. I feel the same way. No one cares about me and I merely exist from day to day. I doubt it will ever change. I look forward to the day I have the guts to end it all.

your words say beautiful person....I wish you happiness

Time heals all wound. But one must be careful who they associate themselves with and not make the same mistakes over again. Watch those around you and be aware of who and what you are always.

Beautiful! So hauntinly honest.

What have gained?

That's a grim view of life you have there, onwayout. I can relate to some of the things from your past. I remember the times when I had to face bullies in my past, how they pushed me to the very edge, until they took away everything that I had, save for my pride. They beat me savagely, they turned everyone against me. When I finally freed myself, I moved to a different city, went to a college I wanted, and met people who became my first true friends after being completely alone for four long years. I was betrayed by those same friends last year, to the point that even the police had to be involved. And I once again became alone.
But then I found my way here. Here, where three angels entered my life, and rewrote this broken legend into something new.
So please, do not say things as "I will never find happiness" or "I no longer believe in the goodness in humanity". You were unfortunate. Your life had handed you a cruel hand.
But there *are* good people in this world. Don't cut yourself off just yet.

feel like, just go and slap all those haters of the world in front of public....

damn on them.............

I find your words inspiring, and thank you for them : "No reason to treat haters the way they treat you. How are haters ever going to learn if you respond to them the same way they respond to you. You have to take the higher road; eventually, the haters will get smart, or they'll hate so hard, they'll destroy themselves in the process. Either way, when you've been hated on practically your entire life as I have, you start to look at your haters and see their weaknesses, not their strengths."

Yes this world is shallow and superficial, but because you feel, and like me, lament this, and share your thoughts here you managed to get seventeen people so far, to respond, and countless more to have read and thought about your insight. You are far more significant than you may realize.

We have a saying when playing cricket. The game is not over until the last ball is bowled. You life is not at an end. You still have plenty left to live. It may not be to the fullest in your opinion or thoughts. There are many who are less fortunate than us. Be courages. You are what you are. You can be the "master" of your life if only you believe in yourself. This world has a wealth of nice and lovely people just as it has an equal amount of the opposite. Take you life and life it lady. I hope you find someone who will treasure and see what you are (inside you). Have you realised that walking away from nastiness takes strength. And it will make you feel so proud that you did not stoop to their level?
The best form of encouragement is to encourage others. You will soon see the strength that you possess.

Well done lady. It is so easy to say, write and speak words. I have found encouragement by encouraging others. Living our life for the day has seen me being able to get over things. I may seem be an extrovert and daring. But, deep inside I am another one of those who tries to shield under the shell just as a tortoise does. Cowardly it may seem, but at least EP has helped to let out some steam. Hold on ...You have a way out. Thank you

First, thank you for the Best Answer vote. Second, let me assure you you are not alone with your experiences and feelings. I grew up enduring much abuse, and had very poor self-esteem. Then, one morning, I woke up feeling different, as if I had an epiphany.
The abusers are the ones who are truly suffering. As if that is all they know, and thus, all they can communicate. The next time someone hates on you, stop and think, he/she is really only talking about him/herself. Say it one time, "Why do you talk about yourself that way?" and see what happens.
To endure is the disposition of the sage. You are a true spiritual warrior! Never stop!

You sound like a good genuine human being. This world would be a much better place to live in if there are more like you. I'm sure you have heard this proverb before 'what goes around comes around'. Be strong and have faith in yourself. (;

Just let them hate you and ignore them. People like you are what the world needs right now, and I'm glad for someone like you to be here. Don't give up, there are people who still love you. And even if there aren't, people on EP still respect and like you. <br />
And you are welcome for this website being somewhere where you can talk about your feelings.

You are welcome, and it is hard. And that is good that you will continue to do that. I still want you to live on and love :)