Is Not About the Children....

Those against abortion are not looking out for the chidlrens best interests; if they are so devoted to saving littles lives that they will take away a womans control of her body, they would be out there saving the lives that already exist. If it was purely about saving the children they would be saving the ones dying every few seconds in Africa and southern Asia.

Its not about children, its about controlling women. Its about telling a woman what to do with her body, taking away control of herself.


An abortion is a horrific thing to experience, and no woman would willingly set out to have one. However sometimes it is the best option, and that is up to the woman to decide. If a woman, for any reason, feels she does not want a baby, she should not be forced to have one.

Personally, i dont htink it should be used as a form of birth control, and more time should be spent educating both woman and men so unwanted pregnancies do not occur, however if they do, its up to the woman.


When I was raped he took complete control over my body, and left me with a baby. If I hadnt been able to abort that baby he would have taken my whole life. It was traumatic, it was horrible, and I hate that it had to happen, but it did. And it was up to me, no one else.

Tesse Tesse 18-21, F 37 Responses Sep 10, 2008

Your Response


All of you who say 'why should the child suffer'... Have you considered what it does to the child to be given birth but not be wanted? Frankly, I find the physical pain of a few seconds - it shouldn't be longer, not even an adult can live without a brain - can beat the scars of a lifetime and abandoned child can carry.
It is true, it's horrifying to think that a small and helpless creature can be literally disintegrated, but that still doesn't seem reason enough to destroy two lives: the child's and the mother's..
And no, I haven't had any abortions, I just don't care for people who judge so easily and speak so righteously about a situation they have never probably faced themselves... You know how it goes... "Let him who has no sin throw the first rock"...

I agree 100%. Pro-choice should only be voted on by women. It's the women who MUST have dominion over their bodies. This really shouldn't be an issue, it should be included in the 16th amendment. However, if it ever comes to a vote between Pro-life and Pro-choice then only women should be allowed to vote on it. I think both sides should go for some sort of universal contraception and the only way to conceive would be with a prescription for the universal anti-contraception. And the prescription would only be available to taxpayers who were qualified to raise a child.

I am a pro-lifer. I don't believe in abortion. To state that people who are pro-life are not interested in children is a horrible thing to say. I would not want to minimize the pain and anguish you went through, but that was a human being that was created inside of out--a precious child. That child did not create the situation. Why does the child deserve to suffer the ultimate price of death for something someone else did to you. Also, who says that pro-lifers aren't saving lives that "already exist" (as though that was not a life already existing within you)? How do you know this?

Ive never met a person who remembers being in the womb, being born, feeling pain when inside the womb. I went to catholic school for 15 years and now I am an atheist. And when I tell people that they usually think I know nothing of religion but trust me I know the bible inside and out and probably know it better than most christians. I dont have a problem with people who want to be religious but I remember one of my theology teachers saying something that stuck with me. She said Jesus would not be the one protesting outside the abortion clinic he would be the one at the exit comforting those who had just made the painful decision. To be honest a lot of people who have been pro-life have just made themselves look stupid. Causing harm and violence to those who perform abortions or who are pro choice. calling abortion clinics to make bomb threats calling women who are getting abortions murderers. How can those people say they care about life when they are harming and threatening others lives. They are hypocrites. If you want to be pro life thats fine but I would hope you would not associate with those kinds of people who would force there believes on others and rally outside clinics to the point where they have to hire security because people who work there and go in there dont feel safe.

I disagree. The baby inside the womb, when being aborted, is in no way given any numbing that will ease the pain of what is done to them. They feel everything that happens. They feel their brain being sucked out of their skull, their limbs torn off, and other horrifying things. Why must the baby suffer because the mother can't take care of him or her? You really think that this is "best for the children"? This is the reason that adoption services were created. A couple who cannot have children would love a baby, the mother who could not support him/her would be able to give him/her away, and the baby would not suffer. I believe that life is always the answer.

I also agree with you MichaelsWidow...... The first choice is not to get pregnant - keep your legs crossed.... A society that can so easily discard their unborn will pay the etirenal price. How many abortions can a women have before its to many???

The figures, collated by a European pressure group, showed that the 219,336 abortions carried out in England, Wales and Scotland in 2007 topped the 209,699 in France to put Britain at the top of the abortion count for the first time.

Both countries remain far ahead of the other nations where abortion is frequent, including Romania, at just over 150,000, Italy, with 127,000, and Spain, 112,000.

Abortion numbers are rising fastest in Spain, but from a much lower base than in Britain.

By contrast, abortion numbers in France have remained virtually steady for the last ten years.

The figures were collated by the Institute for Family Policies from those collected by the European

Union's statistical arm Eurostat.

Its just an unborn child......


I have something to say, while I agree that a women should make here decisions about her body to rid herself of something she cant take care of depending on good/terrible/dire situations, that what about adoption, have the baby and just give to a family / a women who is not able to have children. Abortion to me is "killing a human being/life" whether it is fully developed or not it is of creation and this creation is so innocent that it cannot/or is not able to defend itself. Either though it is NOT RIGHT to kill and innocent child, a women does have a free will to make the decision or abort or for adoption. I am against abortion I believe in that if I can care for a human life(because I'm irresponsible) then give to a family that cant have and are ready for the next family step.

But no one should govern whether or not a women cant decide what she wants to do with "her" body no matter what anyone says. She knows whats best than the "rest of the world" nobody will care about "her" as much as she cares about "herself" So until the world really cares about her well being they should get their nose out of her decisions. IS the world helping her through her turmoil or tough times, "NO" Today's world is: Survival of the fittest and taking care of "themselves, or their own families" not strangers.

No woman would set out to have one huh. All women are sugar and spice right? I know a woman in another state who has had several second trimester abortions. She is an active cult member who purposely waits until she is further along to abort. Thats her sacrifice to her god. She is related to my husbands sister by marriage. My husbans actually dated her for a while until he found out how freaky she was. The last one she said the doctor allowed her to hold it afterward. She needs to be aborted.

I have to say that I am techinicly pro choice because I can see situations that an abortion could be necessary. however to say that everyone that is against abortion is the same as the crazies that protest at the clinics is abserd. Some see the fetus as a living human that has no choice in the matter. either the matter of conception or abortion.

But guys you have to remember when a woman is pregnant it's no longer "her" body. (sarcasm)

Personally I do not think something the size of a pin needle is a child. Until it is able to live and sustain life on it's own is it considered a child.

As is my opinion.

As for the Op I am so sorry you had to go through that.

i belive if a woman is raped then yes , or if a woman has a diease then yes .In other cases no I dont think abortions should be allowed .Yes I did have one and that has made me go to more pro life

It is such a hard thing....abortion. The sad fact that we are using it as birth control is probably the saddest part of it all for me. I love babies...they are so innocent and depend totally on us for their very lives...their very existance.

And late term abortion is such a violent act. Where they partially birth a young baby and then suck it's brains out while the small body writhes in pain. I once listened to a nurse who was totally pro choice until she witnesses this first hand. I know their are circumstances such as the rape that place her early term abortion as somewhat of a viable option.

I know a young lady who did not want her baby. She struggled with what to do. She knew my feelings but also knew my love for her. I would never have held anything against her if she would have aborted but was happy when she decided to take the child full term.

after the birth, she decided to keep the young man. You would not believe how this young man has changed so many lives around him. His bright smile has melted the heart of one very tough grandfather who has experienced feelings he never before felt. I watched him the other day, smiling and baby talking to this little guy who almost did not exist. As I smiled, he looked up at me and said, "Shut up!".

The woman who aborts the child is not a 'baby killer' but sometimes we make that option far to convenient. Conversely, most who are against this procedure, especially the late term that I alluded to are not haters.

The whole issue is so sad.

battress-- 'But just because I feel abortion is wrong, that does not equate wanting to control.'

you are right, on an individual basis. it does not equate to wanting control until a person (or group) try to regulate another persons right to choose, which i think is the point that tesse was making. pro lifers are intending to control anothers rights for the sole purpose of ensuring the rights of another (the unborn baby). i'm glad that type of control is illegal.

i, like you, am against abortion, but my belief is limited to my body. another womans choice may be different and i respect that.

brattess---'I have no desire to control you or take away your control.'

by denying a person their right to choose, you are taking away their control.....control over their body

all personal experiences aside, yes michaelswidow, pro choicers do think of the unborn. we know its a baby. the difference is we acknowledge, without judgement, another persons right to choose.

thank you tesse for sharing your story. abortion was your choice to make and you did nothing wrong. the feeling of guilt is inevitable but it doesnt mean you made the wrong choice.

you described abortion as throwing away a baby like an ugly purse.

i had an abortion, therefore you describe my actions as throwing away a baby like an ugly purse

therefore you compared the hardest thing i ever did to throwing away an ugly purse.

slight syllogism i know, but still valid.

Insight, eh MichaelsWidow?

This is the basic, fundamental difference in philosophy between you (a person against abortion) and I (a person who is for abortion): You see a fetus as a "child" and I see a fetus as "pregnancy tissue". I'm probably not going to change your opinion, and you're certainly not going to change mine.

All I ask is that you appreciate this disparity. What is a "baby" at five weeks to you, is just a fetus to me. I'm sure that if I saw a fetus as possessing "personhood", I'd be outraged by abortion too. The simple fact is, I don't. I feel that a fetus, until viability, deserves no rights or privileges under the law.

Does that give you reasonable insight into why I think abortion is perfectly acceptable?

I asked about the concept. I did not say anything at all about LTD's personal actions.

I hoped to get insight from the pro-choice world, but instead I got accused of saying things about LTD that I never said.

I also got pregnant by date rape when I was a teen, so don't assume that I don't know what it's like.

no problem sweetie! :)

thanks hae....


LTD, you are not anything close to what michaelswidow has tried to portray you as. They have their own belief and are definitely crossing the line by saying such nonsense. and yes, all due respect MW, it is complete nonsense that you feel the need to come onto a story posted in the "I AM PRO-CHOICE" group and put down another member on here based on your own beliefs. It is not only rude but it is unnecessary, she does not deserve your cruel and harsh words.

I will also say that you are certainly mistaken in your assumption that women who make this choice are cold-hearted and deserving of such disrespect. To make the choice is one of the HARDEST decisions that anyone in this world will ever have to make. Nowadays women are certainly informed of all options when they go to the clinic in search of help. I was certainly informed of all options when I went in, and I made the best decision I could. I still regret not being ready, but I do not regret the decision I made. It was in the best interests of all those involved and I and other women certainly have the right to choose. You have no say in what I should be able to do with my life, just as God gave the world free-will to choose what they believe. So respect the life you yourself have, and respect others to make their own decisions in their own life and keep clear of making judgments on others.

LTD if you ever need anything at all i have been through what you are going through, and I completely understand the pain you feel. Please stay strong and do not let unjust preconceived judgments from others bother you, they really do not understand and sadly as long as they remain to keep their mind and heart closed, never will...



I did not disgard my baby like an ugly purse and I am so hurt you would compare it to that.

I thought about it, I beat myself up about it, I still loathe myself for it, I still mourn for that baby.

Dont make me sound like a cold hearted *****.

If it helps, Tesse, I think you made the right decision and the only logical one. I'm sure it was tough, certainly the toughest decision I could imagine for a 13 year old. I hope you had the support of all your family and they all supported your decision. I have not read any of your other stories but I will, I did notice that the story following this one explained the rape but I have not read it yet. I will do that now.

It comes down to "quality of life", both for the mother and unborn child. It's not an easy choice, nor should it be... but a choice that needs to remain available, none the less.

If saving a life is condemning it to live in sadness and take others with it, then in saving that life have you not committed a crime worse than killing several?

Life is valuable, but it goes beyond the simple numbers. It's not that one person matters more than another. Sometimes, you have to choose the option that is best for both of them. Sometimes this choice is a lot more difficult, like when helping one's life makes another's life worse.

That's right, 12B...

And there are other ways we think about children. How about the mother of three who finds herself pregnant a fourth time? She has an abortion not to discard a child "like an ugly purse", but to consider the needs of the kids she already has over the "rights" of a fetus. Is it so horrible that wants to make sure she can feed her children? Wants to clothe them? Wants to avoid having to divide her time and energy yet again?

Why is this prospect so evil?

MW, you question if the pro-choice crowd thinks about the children. Well yes, but perhaps in a different perspective than you. Take, for example, a typical teen age girl from a dysfunctional family that has turned to substance abuse to escape the reality of her life. Is it fair to a child to "force" said teenage mom to birth and raise an unwanted child? Sure there's contraception, sure there's adoption if she doesn't want it, but let's face it the reality is, she's going to continue using drugs while pregnant, she's going to keep the kid because she's going to figure out how to work the welfare system. I know, it sound like an unrealistic stretch, but it's not, it's my sister-in-laws kid. As much as it pains me to say this about any life, she should have considered abortion, and had herself sterilized. So again I say, yes we do consider the children...

Bottom line, we all have our own vantage point and nothing you say will change mine nor what I say change change yours. SO if you opt not to choose, that is fine for you, but for those that want to choose, that option must remain there. If it s a "killing" as you describe, as we all knwo the judgment day will come for all involved and their transgressions will be judged. However, I feel that having a situation in which options must be weighed is "hellish" enough. SO speak if you must, but it appears after all this talk by both pro and anti choice sides, the reality is either you buy into or you do not. So everyone express your opinions and do not badmouth each other and at the end of the day, those that are pro choice will remain so and will advocate that a woman always has the final choice for she will have the final responsibility.

Like you said, you never have understood and I fear you never will.

Do those who are pro-choice care at all about the unborn? I'm not saying this to 'start anything', but I've never been able to understand the idea that an unborn baby is a possession to be discarded like an ugly purse if the mother so chooses to do so. Whenever I ask "why does the mother have the right to kill--yes, kill--the child if she does not want it", i get a storm of abuse from the pro choice world.

All of the reasons for abortion make perfect sense until you plug in the fact that each time a woman chooses, she is causing her child to die. I cannot imagine why that should be safe or legal to do.

The unborn is a person. It's small and helpless, but it's a person. I really don't understand. Never have.

I agree with you MichaelsWidow. I really do. Those who are pro choice (and I say pro abortion is the same thing, because, you can't be wishy washy about it. You're either for it, or against it) do exactly what you say, they discard a life like it's an ugly purse. Those who are so FOR IT, should truly look on youtube, under "baby screens while being pulled apart" That would be a wake up call and I'll bet my life, that they will never be for it again. It's an actual video of a sonagram of a woman who was 12 weeks pregnant, and the doctor inserts these prongs, to rip the fetus' body apart away from the head. As hose forceps are getting ready and trying to penetrate the amniotic sag, you could see, before that, how the fetus had the thumb in his or her mouth. The moment the fetus knew those forceps were going to come, the fetus sense the moral danger, and the movement or the fetus became more rapid where he or she, was trying desperatly to move away and the heart beat became more rapid, and as those forceps were starting to pull, you could see the mouth of the fetus opening up as if he or she was screaming. So you see, I agree completely with you. I never got it either, and never will how adamantly pro choicers/pro abortionists could be. Also how hostile they get when you try to defend all life. Could the reason be guilt? I sure as hell wouldn't be able to live with myself i I had to lower myself to be o.k. with abortion. Let the pro choicers actually see, how the fetus gets pulled apart piece by piece and then how those forceps crush the skull where each fragment of bone is taken out one piece at a time. This woman who had the abortion always spoke up on this issue, and after what had happened has never spoken up on it nor defended the cause again. The abortionist himself, never practiced this brutal act. People say that it's better to go along with it then to go through the return of unsafe practices and barbaric non-medical treatment. Well what do they call a fetus being pulled apart, and the skull crushed and bone piece by piece being taken out? It may be performed by a medical doctor in a medical facility, but it's still unsafe and unfair to the fetus, and the woman's body, and it's still considered barbaric. Anyone's body that has to be pulled apart, is barbaric, no matter who is performing it, and no matter what type of facility it is performed at.

You're awesome, LTD!

[[adds you]]

thank you, OFFthecuff. I think if anything the tough circumstances made me want to stand up for the right to chose even more.

If it ever happened again, or even if i had a one night stand and managed to get pregnant despite using birth control, i want to be able to chose what to do with my body and my life;