There are moments where I am so thankful for my boyfriend. Simply because he understands that I choose what to do with my own body.
Even if he hates it, he'll support me in it. Whether it's as silly as a new piercing or tattoo or choosing abortion as the best option for me.
We've discussed in full what we plan to do if I get pregnant. We've gone through every option and he will support me in all of them, unconditionally.
I hope so much for my generation of men and women to understand that it's not your body, you have no right to dictate it.
ErraticallyGrey ErraticallyGrey
22-25, F
2 Responses Aug 19, 2014

Good for u

It's great that you've discussed this. My committed partner and I have also discussed the issue thoroughly should something happen. Raised by a woman, his immediate answer is that the choice would fall on me, because it's my body that's being affected...but this idea makes me slightly uncomfortable, let me explain why. (I am only speaking openly because I believe we share some non-radical feminist values, let me know if you don't want to hear from me ever again.)

You are right that it is absolutely your body, in the sense that he does not own it, but decisions in regard to (spaghetti monster forbid) possible pregnancies regards more than simply your physical form. It's important to be on the same page, because the incident would lead to you becoming a mother, and him a father. This psychological transformation particularly cannot be forced on either of you and goes way beyond physical effects, considering the long term, financial and emotional responsibilities.

I don't mean to say you are that kind of girl, but here's an extreme example for the sake of discussion. Say you decide to keep the baby, because it's your bodily choice to go through with the physical pregnancy and to refuse an abortion. You are making the choice to become a mother, and by default, making him a father without necessarily his consent, meaning repressing him into a role he may not feel comfortable with (the same way you would be forced into the role of a mother should avenues be blocked to you).
The idea of adoption here may be a solution, but not really...we can't take a baby away from a mother who wants to keep it, the mere idea makes me cringe.

So where do _his_ rights fit in this picture?
We can't say that it's his fault for spreading his seed, if a female should be forgiven for making a procreation mistake, why can't a just as responsible and concerned male? (I don't have the answer...let me know what you think)

Honestly, I'd ***** him of his legal rights. It probably sounds harsh but if he didn't want the child then I wouldn't force him to have one.

A strong stance for a strong woman.
I share the same idea, I hate the idea of a man running away from his responsibilities- life tends to throw those at anyone, whether we want them or not.
But don't you slightly feel that him being forced to be a father is the same as you being forced to be a mother, should abortion rights be taken away? How would that differ to you? (really not trying to argue, just want to discuss new ideas that go beyond the regular feminist speech)

I don't feel that it is.
Blood does not make you family. Donating the *****, to me, doesn't make you the father on the most important level, which is being there physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
My being forced to be a mother involves me going through pregnancy and labor.
He doesn't have to deal with the first 9 months on a deeply personal level.