I Should Have Minded My Own Business.

I just wanted to share a story that I reminded myself today.

When I was in middle school, maybe in 6th or 7th grade, I was being bullied a lot and I didn't have many friends because I was "different". But I noticed a girl that being bullied too because of her name. Her name was "Tuna", she lived on a boat, her father was a marine and she was Pisces. She got made fun of a lot with this.
I've always tried to protect the weak kids, for as long as I can remember. This desire to make them stop hurting her was even harder in middle school since I was bullied myself.

I stood up for her. Even though I was not like, I thought I could make a friend this way. I didn't want any recognition, I just thought it wasn't fair to put her away because of something that foolish. She was crying in the courtyard and I defended her in front of her bullies. A week or two after that, she was the very person that emptied my bag in front of everyone before grabbing my pencil case to steal as many pens as she could. It really was a humiliating memory. I had defended her when nobody would when she was crying, and shortly after that, she had become one of the worst bullies. I couldn't understand why she was behaving this way towards me. I learned after that that she really was a dumb person and just wanted to be popular. Bullying me made her popular.

Still now, it is painful to remember this. I know how hard it is to feel like an outcast, and even after this happened to me, I did my best to help people feel less alone and befriend them, despite my social anxiety. However I still wanted to tell that story. I was weak somehow, but I still protected someone else that turned out to take that opportunity to make herself popular, and turned back against me to attack me.

It might be hard to think about how I suffered from this back then, but now, a few years later, I take this as a lesson. But it didn't prevent me from protecting people I feel weaker than others.
Nokomis Nokomis
18-21, F
2 Responses Dec 12, 2012

You weren't weak at all. On the contrary, you were by far the STRONGEST one that day because you stood up for something you believed in, and to top it all off you defended that girl alone. It takes guts to do that.

I know it was disappointing to have that girl betray you, but you did the right thing. It's becoming more commonplace to not give anyone the benefit of the doubt, or to not help others in need. It's refreshing to know that there's someone like you out there. I for one am proud of you, my first EP friend. :)

Nokomis, I'm 50 years old, and I have observed this dynamics all my life. I believe that your nature always has the final word- even if sometimes you give them your best and receive violence in return, who else could you possibly be, other than yourself? And the same is true of people like that girl- who else could they be, if not themselves? This is why vampires are such a common symbol in dreams- they represent those that "drink" your energy (pain)- because they don't have any, and you do. Maybe you could use a few "tricks" to close your system, and start giving without losing :)