I Push Everyone, And Everything Away...

When I become depressed, and when I feel like I really don't want to be around anymore, I push everyone away. I push my friends, I push the people I Love and care about, hell, I even push my Ep frineds away. I know its a bad thing to do, but I do it, not only for me, but for you as well. You see when I get like this, not only do I become self destructive, but I also become mean, and angry, and often end up hurting the ones I love, out of desperation to get away from the pain that I am feeling deep inside.

I push everyone away, and try and deal with it on my own, even if that means hurting myself, and being alone to deal with it, because I rather be alone, and be hurting myself, than knowing I'm hurting someone else, because of how I am feeling. I hate that I do this, I hate that I feel that out of control. I am lucky enough that it doesn't happen often, but at times it does happen, and I go back to my old ways of pushing everyone away.

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3 Responses Jul 9, 2010

Did you ever go back to those whom loved & cared for you. My fiance is doing what your doing & he left to texas for a while to get away, but im scared hes not coming home:/

You can push against me all you want and I'm not moving.... So get a work out!!!!!

I hate feeling out of control too...it's the worst feeling I can think of! It's good that you don't feel this way very often... ((hugs))