I have to push you away so I don't get hurt and the pseudo EP friendships I have remain just that. I don't choose this with pryde but if I let you in just like that, what respect would I gain from you? You would take me for granted along with all my affections, you'd have your pick of male stallions to shag and still find an excuse to keep me on the property as a pet when what I'd rather be is a permanent resident of your heart, your soul, your mind and of course your ever responsive 'airstrip' on which one day I hope to land my Airbus 380 on. I won't let go of passions until I know yours will take off with me. I won't stop shoving your essence away from me until I'm certain it won't clog my pores and stifle all logic or rational thought. Yes I am pushing you away so you don't hurt me, you may recognize this from the long silences or the carefully measured words but at the end of the day, I'm just an EP faceless, voiceless friend so I really don't exist or matter at all.