My Situation.

I would say i'm anti-social, but i'm not. i could say i cant communicate with people, but i would only be contradicting myself. who i am, what am i.. human. im one of the many who cannot share personal stories, speak clearly, express my opinions, sometimes i think i have none at all. i'm shy, but i'm not. i just dont know, when it really comes down to a one on one conversation, what to say.. where to start, how to reply. i've always been quiet, for my whole schooling years, i had not talked to atleast 50 % of the people in my year. does this ever change, will it? i want to change.. but i wouldnt know where or how to start.

imthelostone imthelostone
18-21, F
4 Responses Feb 8, 2010

Yes, those are what is called in my new business "conversation killers" (one word answers). Thats where you just start asking about more details. Ask questions that make them think. "How is your day going?" "Good." "How good?" - as a very brief example. Don't get me wrong, I am learning to handle those conversation killers myself, so I won't say it's easy. But perfect practice makes perfect so to speak.

But what if you ask how their day went and they just say "good"? I get that alot with many of my questions and I get nowhere... But I love it when they actually say something different because that's the chance I get to listen and think of something else to keep the conversation flowing.

I feel the same way. I'm usually quiet, and tend to keep to myself when it comes to new people. However I did learn something when I went on a ski trip not too long ago with a friend and his Dad and step-mom. The trip was for my friend's birthday, and on the evening of his birthday dinner, I learned that my friends dad is someone I can relate to more than I always thought. He said that what he usually does, is as the person how their day went. That way, you can just listen if you don't really know what to say, and maybe a subject will come up that will spark a conversation of interest. It was quite surprising to hear that it could really be that simple, but it really can! =] Just make sure that you really listen, and not just pretend to listen, cause then you will get no where. Not that I think you are someone who wont, but I'm just making sure I make that point clear.

If you want to change, start small - sounds like you just need more practice and communication becomes common. You don't need to be bubbley and dazzle people or spill out your personal stories. I think I may have been more introverted like you at one point and had to make an effort- conversation became easier the more I did, but I started out almost "interviewing" people about themselves...thats the easiest....noticing things that most people like talking about with themselves ie "What kind of dog is your dog? Did it hurt to get that piercing there? It does take some effort on your part but you can choose to do this in as small as steps as you choose<br />
Some people mindlessly flap everything and anything about their lives to sound at the opposite end...meaning maybe a bit more thoughtful