Ugh

Being a male my age insecurity is not an endearing quality. My insecurity has ravaged my social life and possibly my professional life as well. Most conversations are performances, my smile is a mask. I am an actor. My insecurity has turned me into someone that nobody knows. I am a shadow, casting darkness over my being, yet never existing without my insecurities. I am a prisoner, my mind is a cell. I am constantly prodded at by my insecurities, they never let me rest. They possess me, and will never allow anyone to get too close. They react to any imagined slight like a mouse trap slamming closed on my ego. I walk alone.
TheEvilLeaper TheEvilLeaper
26-30, M
2 Responses May 5, 2012

Hello dude. Guess what? It's better to be alone than to be with a bad company. I have been alone most of my life and sometimes I feel the same way you do. But, life goes on. Broken hearts healed. Lost jobs gained. Good habit, restored. You maybe alone but I'm guessing you're not lonely. I am newbie here. Just commenting because I find you poetic.

you're not alone. I'm right beside you facing the same issues you struggle with. I wish i was as happy as i have lead others to believe, but deep down i feel guilty, dirty, and often question myself if i'll ever be happy with the stranger i see in the mirror. I'm sorry you feel the same way i do. Thank you for sharing though. I hope I can be a friend if you ever need one. I'm here.

You have forgotten the essence of who you reeeally are...<br />
Go back in your mind and find the moment you were last at peace<br />
Happy just being and unaware of self flaws/perceived weaknesses...<br />
A lil difficult, but does get easier as you practice : - !

Yeah, that's not how BDD and social anxiety let you roll. Thanks though.