Don't Want To Be Insecure It's Destroying My Relationship

This is the first time Iv ever spoke out about this I feel to ashamed and embarrassed to talk to family because its not the person I want to be !!! You would never think I'm insecure if you met me .. I will always hide it unless it was my partner then we would just argu ... Before I met him I was sexy and confident and I was actually abit arrogant. After meting him 3 months into it I fell pregnant and I thought it was just baby blues but now my baby is 7 months and it hasn't gone away... It's weird it's not that I think that he will cheat on me ... It's just I think he looks at other girls and it hurts he says that he don't but you know it's near to the end of our relationship he's watching **** because we don't have sex he said Iv pushed him away to much so maybe it is over and I got to accept it but I don't want this to affect the next relationship I get into I feel fat even though I'm not I don't feel sexy and I don't know how to get my confidence back I'm so emotional all the time I literally feel worthless.. I'm sort of starting to realise that it's me with the problem because no matter who I'm with I'm going to be the same with everyone ... And that is not what I want ... I don't want to feel down all the time I want to enjoy life the question is how ?? How do I start to get confident again ? How do I stop over thinking things? How do I just be normal? Why do I let things get to me ? It's like if I see him looking at someone I get this sudden horrible feeling and I just go mad I can't help it I don't want to be like that but it just happens ? Is it because I'm looking for something before it even happens? Do I need a counsellor? Iv never been cheated on and when I was single I got lots of attention yes I have cheated in past relationships .. Is that why I'm insecure? I just don't get how I can go from confident sexy and arrogant to really really low feeling ugly an fat and that most girls are prettier when they probley ain't ... It's wrecked my relationship I don't want it to wreck my life to ... I don't want it to rub off on my daughter ... I wish there was just a magic button to turn it off I need help I think this is the first step thanks
Insecure1 Insecure1
22-25, F
Jan 21, 2013