Ugh!!!

Okay no offense if this applies to you but I am really sick of addicts. Recovering or not they are all the same and it's disgusting. I am sooo tired of the same excuses not to at least try to live life in the most healthy way possible. I am starting to think addiction is not a disease but an excuse and when you use way too much then it becomes a "disability" as the ADA refers to it. I came from an alcoholic family and my role was scapegoat. For years I played into that role similar to the way a victimizes revictimizes themselves. It was so unconscious I didn't even see it. I kept choosing the addict sober or not, not realizing what was happening because no one showed me any different. Now that I know, I can definitely see what to watch out for. I am really tired of addicts who try to suddenly become accountable as if it will make up for lost time and constantly use the excuse "That's not my issue" or "I don't own that, that's your issue" to excuse themselves for actually being accountable about how their behavior affects other people. For example, my neighbor needs a ride to the store. She is a recovering addict and well along in her "recovery". I ask another neighbor if she could take her, my neighbor backs out at the last minute stating she didn't know the lady and didn't want to go. Seriously? When I told her that made me look like a jackass (or an noncredible person because I am helping someone who flaked) she tells me that's not her ****, that's mine. Seriously? Yeah it is, for helping someone who was flaky. Or how about this one. My child's father who changed his phone # when I got pregnant, when I became homeless (again having to do with choosing **** for people) left me, never showed up to the birth of our child, still wouldn't help me after he was born, issued false statements to CPS, failed to protect my son and I after getting a crazy roommate(so glad I live on my own now) slept around with crazy women who stalk me, told me that he wasn't going to do anything to show me he was sorry because that was my power trip. Seriously? I am not asking for fire jumping just show me that we won't have to go through that again and you are committed to making better choices. Nope. The recovering addict excuse. "That's your ****." When I used to hang around people who drank and smoke weed, I used to hear the same thing. It's no different, there is just a different excuse, for the excuse. I don't want to be accountable for how my choices affect your life so I am not going to take ownership of what I do. Use the word ownership or accountability around an addict and see if they know what it means. They can't even take credit for their own choice to stop using, it's a higher power. I am not against God but didn't God give you free will. It's your choice. Or when they talk about recovery it's "My own sick mind". Seriously, does it have to be something out of your control? You can't just say, I made a bad choice. The excuse worsens sometimes, my parents fed me drugs or I was born addicted because I immediately loved sugar. There are always choices. Believe me when I say I was given absolutely nothing in life. What I become and who I am today I had to seek out. I have experimented when I was younger out of curiosity but CHOSE to put an end to it because a drug habit wasn't appealing. Because the cards I were dealt were so bad I couldn't afford the habit. Everyone uses the excuses that there life is so horrible so they use drugs. And you know whats really, really bad. Addicts are the ones who end up helping other addicts and helping homeless people. This is why the cycle continues and get bigger and bigger. I have volunteered in so many shelters and even had to go to a couple and each place is the same. Recovering addicts who are treating people who are at there most bottom point in themselves like ****. Seriously?!?!? "You need to be accountable" "You are nothing more than an ant in this world". I get they are trying to express that their problems are not bigger than them but really you can't build that up inside of someone asking you for help instead of tear them down. Again, the "I am a recovering addict and will not take responsibility for how my behavior affects other people so I am just going to say that is not my problem when someone is affected by me" excuse. I am not saying take ownership about other people's problems, that's entirely different....then say my BM is pregnant and homeless and needs a place to stay and that's not my problem. Here's another one I heard....a recovery addict woman was at her addict families house and decided she didn't want to be there because they were getting high. 1. Why are choosing to still talk to them? 2. You couldn't leave a note. At the end of the day you know that you just left someone regardless of the reason. Do you really want to look at yourself in the mirror at night knowing that you went somewhere and left without expressing how you feel. Then her family called her asking what happened and she didn't tell them stating that they knew why.Seriously?!?!? They asked you so clearly not. What's wrong with yelling "Hey mom I'm outta hear your doing something that's not cool for me." It's about building your strength in character (integrity) in the face of challenges. Integrity is what keeps you from being an addict. That's become a very important word in my life and now I know why I have always been able to overcome challenges because integrity is more important than what feels good for right now.
AnonymousDiva AnonymousDiva
26-30, F
1 Response Jul 19, 2010

Yes really take ownership of your life and stop spending it in excuses.