Alone & Trying a New Life!

I have been in Florida for about a month now.  Before Florida I was married and building Platform Tennis Courts.  My husband had a bad habit of blaming all his hard times on me.  If he  just had a bad day for any reason, in his mind, it was my fault.  Anything and everything that ever happened was my fault.  Unless it was something good then, it was all him!

pboyce pboyce
36-40
3 Responses Mar 21, 2009

I'm going through it now, been going through it since my son was born two years ago. It's all my fault apparently. I try to avoid being around him, just so I don't get blamed for something else. It doesn't help ofcourse that my live-in MIL is here to stir things up, and throw blame on me, even when I'm not around. I just want it over with, and to be able to write that I've gone through it. I came out of this bad phase in my life, and I'm happy now. I didn't realize how badly it was affecting me, until I left for England to spend christmas with my family. It took the whole three months I was there, to get over the stress and built up anger and hurt I had been feeling. If I could have stayed for good, I would have, except that I was forced to return to the states, due to my son's US citizen status, and the fear that my husband might have me charged for kidnapping if I tried to stay away. If I could get him out of my life right now, I would, and I would never consider for a moment to take him back, even if he did get some help. So, take it from someone who is going through it now, don't take him back. Don't think about those first five years, just think about the last five years.

Been there with good ole' hubby, EX-hubby now.<br />
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Keep the focus on you and you'll get much better results.

Hi,<br />
<br />
I am going through this exact same thing right now. My boyfriend of TEN YEARS and I just broke up for the exact same reason. We had a great relationship for the first five years or so, and then we fell on harder times and it just went down hill from there. He got to the point where he was just GRUMPY the MAJORITY of the time and EVERYTHING was ALL MY FAULT. I LITERALLY didn't even have to SPEAK all day long ... but still somehow, he was having a bad day and it was my fault. <br />
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After a couple of years of this, I finally got him to go to counseling, and he was diagnosed with depression and put on meds, but he would NEVER take them. After another couple of years of this, I started to get sick from all the stress, so I finally just kicked him out two weeks ago. I didn't realize until he was gone just how sick HE was truly making me! I can eat like a normal person now and I almost NEVER have any stomach trouble. I've only been sick ONCE since he left. So, as much as I would like to work it out ... I will NOT take him back until and UNLESS he finally realizes that he needs to take responsibility for his own issues and get help for them. It's not easy going on without him, but I'm working at it. I have to, for my own sake.<br />
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So, hang in there, my friend, you are NOT alone! Good Luck!