Like the Title Says...

My girlfriend and I have recently separated. It's too bad really, even if I wanted us back together, I think we have both done and said too much, at least too much for a quick return anyway. I think the cliche time heals all wounds is about the only thing that I can hope on, if we are to be. I met her at the beach, she was married, I had a gf. Neither one of us wanted to be in the position we were in, and I think that's what drew us together. I have to admit, for the first time, I truly fell in love with someone without thinking how badly I wanted to sleep with them. In fact..If she changed anything about me, it would be that. I have realized some things from this whole experience. I never really made love to anyone, love making and.. sex ARE two different things. I will never date or look at another woman with that male shovenistic attitude "I'd F$#k her" to be honest.. I am at a loss actually, I really don't know what I will do now.. all I keep saying to myself is that I will just spend time with my kids, work, make some new friends.. and maybe, just maybe, I will meet someone. Maybe I will meet someone in one of my favorite places, doing my favorite things.. after all, I have come to realize, that might be the only way I will ever meet anyone who truly loves me for me.

Anyway, sorry to ramble, I could go on about this for ever.
31-35, M
5 Responses Jul 14, 2007

RuMoR, keep rambling, I'm listening. I'm a very good listener. <br />
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I've been married twice. In the seven years between marriages I totally gave up on ever meeting anyone again and thought I would be alone forever. My girlfriends in my apartment complex at the time were all going out to a local bar and invited me to go along. I went along and enjoyed the music and watched the dancing. I was babysitting purses while the girls danced when someone came over to ask me to dance. All of my girlfriends wanted to dance with this guy and I asked him "Why? Don't you have enough partners?" I was older, 32, and the other girls were 21 - 23. They kept taking turns with him and he kept asking me. He finally sat down next to me and the girls were still asking him to dance. I turned to look at him and said "Look, you don't have to sit here and feel sorry for me, I'm fine. Go have fun." He said "No, I want to sit here with you." He was nice enough and nice looking, but there was no instant attraction, and I couldn't figure out why all the girls were so overly interested in him. I didn't understand why he wanted to sit with me. I gave him my phone number and he called me over and over. I'd tell him where I was going with my son and he would just show up and surprise me. He wasn't stocking me, just kept showing up. I finally agreed to go out with him. We've been married 15 years now, and I still ask him when he's leaving. I honestly, truly, do not understand why he likes me so much. It's nice to be loved. <br />
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It was the same thing with my first husband. I met him in the second grade and we were engaged when I was 16. He told me if he ever got a good job he would marry me. Sure enough he kept his word. We were married when I was 18 and it lasted for almost ten years. We had one son after five years. My first husband was a workaholic and I didn't understand why he would rather work than be with me. He wanted to make more money. I didn't think it was necessary. He became a walking zombie after a few years and I felt like a single parent because he was always working. I too had a job and I took my son to daycare every morning and picked him up every night. I fed him and bathed him and went to bed before he came home. He worked weekends too. I could never plan anything with any of our friends because he was always working. He is still the same way with his new wife. My son is 28 years old now, but I think he spent more time with his stepdad than he did with his biological dad.<br />
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Oddly enough, after the divorce, I started taking night classes at the local community college. First accounting, then computer science, then paralegal courses. I still enjoy taking classes and never want to stop learning. I do it because I enjoy it.<br />
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Then I lost my Dad in 2001. That hurt so bad. I couldn't stop hurting, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. So I took on a part time job at Dillards selling cosmetics. I worked my regular job with architects and engineers during the day and went right to Dillards to work until close. I ultimately became the workaholic my first husband was.

I read your story and got a lump in my throat. I have been married for 32(gasp) years and have always had a wonderful relatinship with my husband. no matter what the problem was,we always worked it out, until the daay he said to me,well I dont want to repeat what he said but now its hard for me to even look at him. I get a sick feeling in my stomach now. I had never thought about a diverse before but now thats all I can think about. At this point, I think that is what I need right now. Im sorry, I got off track. I wrote to comment on your story and ended up talking about my problems. Im sure you will meet some one in time.

She seems very immature, and those relationships never last. <br />
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I love how you said <br />
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"love making and.. sex ARE two different things"<br />
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I wish all men could see it that way.

I would never tell you to stay or to leave, that's for you to decide only. However, as you said, "This time he went too far" I have had that exact same thought myself, how much is too much, well take this as an example. Was talking to the ex, we agreed to be friendly.. go for coffee's.. she calls me and asks to go for one, I ended up staying out at a bible study till 2am. She wanted to meet me around 11-12.. SO I accidentally stood her up, she ignored me for 3 days.. Finally I called her up and said, "You have stood me up many times, I stand you up once, and this is how you treat me. Perhaps this was a mistake, thinking we could be friends..going for coffee." we haven't really spoken since. All over a coffee.. well ok, not JUST over a coffee.. but you know what I mean.

don't be sorry we all have stuff to ramble about, just different stuff and here is the forum for it so let it out!!!!