Where Are All the Good Men?

I have been married to my second husband for almost 12 years.  I have two biological children with him and I have two children from a previous marriage.  My second husband is considered my other two children's father, even though he never legally adopted them.  Their biological father walked away and has not been in their life for almost 12 years.  I though that my second husband was the man I have been looking for all my life, WRONG!  I should have known that when I got pregnant with my son and he pushed me down, he was a loser....  TO make a long story as short as possible, my husband is a needy person who wants all of my time.  I work 5-6 days a week, don't come home until 6:30 p.m. each night and have four kids to take care of with no help from him.  Excuse me if I can't give him all my attention the minute I walk through the door.  On two occasions my husband emotionally cheated on me, via the internet.  I am not talking about ****, because I can handle that, it is only fantasy.  He built relationships with other women, who loved far away making up all these lies and making these poor vulnerable women fall in love with a man that he made up.  He thought i was computer illiterate but I am quite the opposite.  I caught him and gave him hell.  Because he never physically met these women I was able to forgive, but never forget nor trust completely.  Well just recently, on 1/19/2009 to be exact, my husband was at it again.  This time was different though, he was talking to someone who lived not too far from us, about 1/2 hour away.  He also crossed the line, and actually met this girl in a parking lot and took her out for a 2 hour coffee date.  He swears up and down nothing happened and it is not what I think, he just needed someone to talk to but he is such a liar.  The idiot used his cell phone which is under my name and I see every call he makes, to correspond with her.  I called the girl and knew that I had to throw his *** out.  I packed as much of his stuff in black garbage bags and left them all on the front deck for him.  That was it, never let him back in the house after that.  I am sad one minute and happy the next.  I do not want him back as a husband.  I can not live with some one I cannot ever trust again.  Just thought I would share this with others.  I never thought that I would be able to do this, but I did.  All of a sudden I got the strength from somewhere that I did not know I had.  He is now kissing my butt to get me back, promising the world, but it isn't going to happen.  Never trust a man after the first incident, once a cheater always a cheater!

41-45, F
1 Response Feb 14, 2009

I am sorry for what happened to you. Your last comment really hits home. My wife cheated on Thanksgiving of 2009, and it has completely changed me. Only now, with her gone, am I starting to get semblance of myself back. She just left, finally, and I doubt there is any future for us, especially as I think as she had a second affair between May and September, which might be over, though she completely denies it.<br />
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Keep your chin up, be strong for your kids, and don't take back that piece of ****. I can't apologize for his actions, but know that all men aren't like him. I know I'm not.