My BershertShortly after midnight on the morning of January 6, 2012, precious husband died. I cannot grasp that it has been over 10 weeks since we spoke our last words to one another.
He came home from work early on Thursday to spend time with me before we were to pick up our new spectacles. I asked him...as I was getting ready, if my hair looked ok. He took my face in his hands and looked into my eyes and said, "Beautiful..."
Shortly before 10 PM he said that he was tired and wanted to go to bed. As we prepared for bed, he helped me put on my gown because my shoulder was hurting and said, "I will help you... it is my job... it is my pleasure." He kissed me and said, "Good night Mrs. Price, I love you", and I replied, "Good night Mr. Price, I love you too. Sleep sweet my Prince."
I miss talking to him. We talked all the time and about everything. When we were not physically together we texted, emailed, and talked over the phone. At times, most of the time, my world is so very quiet. Each phase of every day brings it's own measure of missing him. We started each morning together, and every evening when it is time for him to come home from work... I find myself missing him... my heart aching. I need to respond to cards, letters and emails from friends and his coworkers and especially his best friend. I cannot. Every time I try to write I end up crying uncontrollably.
When I had to fill out paperwork, the woman that was helping me, told me that I was now single. I'm not stupid and I know these things in my head, but my heart was crushed. I don't feel single... I don't want to be single. I am still Mrs. Price.