I Still Loved Him.

I am 43 and was married to my husband for over 20 years. It was good the first 16 yrs. Then it became a cycle of pain and betrayal. Through it all I kept being the forgiving wife. He was an alcoholic who screwed around on me repeatedly. Yet thru it all I kept praying it would get better. It didn't...a month ago I told him I was going to divorce him. 2 days later he fell at work, and after surgery needed me to care for him. Well 4 days ago he passed away at home from complications from that surgery. We had no life insurance and only a little in savings ( which I had to use to pay for his funeral) His family seems to think I'm going to profit from his death, far from it!!! My little girls and I may wind up homeless by next month. I am so angry right now, and then I feel guilty for feeling this way! I am actually crying and can't understand why? I wanted a divorce not this...
hiswidow hiswidow
41-45, F
1 Response Feb 6, 2013

the guilty feeling will go away in time and you will be able to rebuild your life