What Do I Do Now??

Its nice to see only 2 others in this group; I hate having to be the third - no one should ever go thru losing your spouse - but as much as I hate it I'm really glad to have found it.  I'm not really sure where to start.  I have a blog about all this but I am missing having others to lean on when I need it.  I guess that is my biggest hope.  My story is simple - I finally found the love of my life moved into the country & we built a log cabin loft & all.  Gary was my world - I felt safe with him.  We were married Sept 2, 2005 in Tennessee in the mountains we had a limo that drove us all around it was the happiest time of my life.  That happiness ended 9 months & 4 days later.  I had a very bad feeling about that day & had even talked to Gary about it.  Told me don't worry baby girl it will all be OK I'll take care of your dad (my dad had not been well & it was him that I was worried about).  My Gary didn't believe in such stuff.  He left for work on June 6th & the next time I saw him was in the ambulance & had just been pronounced dead at the scene of an accident.  Ok can't keep this up any longer I'm at work & I crying its not good.
magicbeenes magicbeenes
46-50, F
16 Responses Jul 25, 2007

My heart just breaks for you. I can't even imagine how you feel. But if you need someone to talk to, my Husband was also taken from me, way before his time. Please write anytime.

I lost my husband, Kermit, About 2 months ago. We had been Married for 34 years. He had heart disease since 1995. But he did not get really sick until May 15. Plus at the end of July they said he had about 6 months left to live. But it was only about 2 weeks and he was died. I feel Like I am numb and don't know what to do.

Oh my heart goes out to you, I feel so bad for you, I have not lost my husband, I also would feel lost. You can cry on my shoulder any time and |I will even cry with you. I am here for you . I know there is a healing process and you have wonderful memories of your love ones , write them down keep a journal of all the wondeful memories you have of him. I am soooo sorry for your lost.

I lost my husband my soul mate aug 30th 2009,we honeymooned in tennessee,we moved to tn in 2004 I had 13 wonderful years with him . I am learning that it dose not matter how little or how long we have some one, the pain is as great for all. I am blessed with a gracious God and he walks with me daily . may he bless you and heal you heart. goahead

You took the words out of my mouth. At dinner, Bennie told my mother that this was the best day of his life - just perfect. He passed away that night. Mecifully, it was in his sleep. A heartattack. The last thing we said to one another was :I love you:. A friend said that is the cadillac of deaths. Part of me is so happy for him... what a way to go... quick &happy but the rest of me is shattered. When I first went on this site, so many of the people were kind but a year or two down the road. Of course the spiritual side of me says it won't always be like it is now. But for now - it is now. I heard my sister describe me as a prune rose bush - raw, cut to the quick back in aminute


My loss was in May of 1986- but it still seems just like yesterday. I still think of her every single day & always remember the smiles & all the great times we had together. We still converse. <br />
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I can still "feel her presence" & she often caresses me while in my waking state. I still dream of her & can see no reason to let her go- even though many family members still urge me to do so. She was the one & I choose to never change this. She is still my inspiration to write poems, songs, books- mostly on what we both shared in common.<br />
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She was a Gothic/Wiccan of 3ed degree decent when we met. We share the same music-poems & both love 14th century monastic chant & Enya and Yanni

pls email me at HallLarryD@gmail.com. went though EXACTLY the same thing. Can we talk?

Been through almost EXACTLY the same thing. I would like to talk with you...

I'm sorry for you, but I had a smiliar experience. My husband passed away 2 months ago and it has been very difficult, often surreal. Hope you are doing better, each month that passes helps- as they say- time heals all wounds- it's sad though to wish the time away

Its very difficult and no one can answer your question " What to do now?". You can't forget what has happened but you have to move on. I lost my dad When i was 8 but this world doesn't stop for anyone. I wish you get someone else in your life

I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 19 years on Jan 11, 2009. He suffered a heart attack on Dec 20, 2008, was rushed to the hospital and was in a coma for 22 days before he passed away. I was with him when he passed and I'm glad I was there, I had told him I would not let him pass alone. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to face. Bill was my world and know my best friend is gone and I don't know how to go on without him. I can't go to the same places we went together, it's too painful and people ask me where my hubby is and I have to tell them he passed away. I'm going to try a support group and see if that helps me to work through my feelings. Bill was the outgoing one in our relationship, I'm the quiet one. I'm on mediaction that helps me sleep at night and quiets my mind. I never thought I would be a widow so soon. At times I still can't believe it happened and I keep hoping he walks through the door after work and says "Hi Hon" but it not's going to happen. How does anyone get through this?

I just lost my husband on Feb 25, 2012. A month ago tomorrow. We were hit by a train. He got between me and the train at the last second to take most of the blow and tried to push me off. I lost him later on that evening while he was at some other hospital or maybe when he was on the way there in careflight. We were walking 12 miles to get home from my brother's bday party while everyone else was still there. We were in the safety of the grass. But when we got to lake Lewisville going Northbound on I35, there was no lighting and no pedestrian walkway. Our choices were: Empty train tracks or busy highway where there's about a 5 foot shoulder that is blocked by a stalled car forcing us to walk into traffic. Wearing dark clothing with no lighting, we decided the highway was too dangerous. We waited on a train to pass going Southbound. We got on and were being careful not to fall due to the spaces in between the tracks that could catch your foot. Then Bryan said to pick up the pace. Then he thought there might be a train behind us comin our way. He told me we had to run. This whole time I just reacted instead of thinking or arguing. We were running full blast, and even though that train was hard to hear due to cars, and was seemingly far away, Bryan suddenly said we gotta jump NOW. I turned to jump and that's when he sacrificed his life to save mine. We were hit when the train was going about 60 mph, we fell 40 ft into shallow water with concrete and sharp rocks below. I was face down, unconscious, with a halo of blood. Bryan, about 5 feet from me, was awake and on his back keeping afloat, asking, "Where is she? Is she ok?" When I was rescued and dragged onto some rocks, I came to and apparently screamed a whole lot due to how much pain I was in. This only caused Bryan to ask about me some more while we were waiting on careflight to arrive. I feel ok most of the time, because I have family and friends as a HUGE support group. I have just started counseling for this and for my rough childhood. I have only had one session. I also keep thinking he is going to walk through the door and say, "Hey", or come hug and kiss me. I just want to hold him so bad. I know he knows I love him, but I still want to say it to him. I just can't believe I have possibly 50 or more years to go on without him. He was my everything. He was my best friend whom I could ask or tell anything at all in the world. He was my soulmate. My true love. Now I have to be strong without him? I just want to go meet him right now and not have to do this. I don't want to have to be strong. I just want to be with him again ASAP. I have to do this, though, for him. I have to make him proud by becoming the woman he knew I could be and reaching my potential. I don't want to be with anyone else, as I am loyal, and though he had said I could so i could be happy, I feel wrong thinking of being with others. I want his kids so much! I want them to look like him, smile like him, and react like him...But there is no way of obtaining what is needed to have his children...So now what do I do?

i am sorry for your loss .even tho i,m a man not welthey or egicated my heart is broken for you. there is one i do know greef has no welth or enteligence level i lost my 10 mo ago i an only 48 i have walked in confusion and anger and lonely ness and had my self estein crushed bye a women of my own age that i did not rilly know.i have cryied like a baby every time i turned a round .these things or natural. i got an this site do days ago thank god i did i feel better know than i have in 10 mo i wish there were places we people like us could meat and take trips to gether or just sit .be cause i have found out that we do not have things in comion with the meajourity of people witch or merryied or devoriced or never ben merryied they dont rilly now what it is to truley love some one then lose them there or more of us .stay on these papes hope to here from all of you our see you around her come see me i need your incourigement and gidence.

One thing that I have noticed since my wife died is that relationships with friends and relatives is different. Let's face it, we aren't much fun and even our closest friends don't know what to say around us. My wife was more social and I feel rather isolated now. I am going to move somewhere and start over again. I don't really have the world that I used to have. Sometimes it seems like my social life consist of arguing with benefits offices, insurance companies, and a long list of other business entities. At least they are providing me with a target as I go through the anger phase of grieving. I went through this when I was a child and my father died. Nothing helped except time. I would recommend anti anxiety medication to anyone going through this. It does take some of the edge of it.

John and I were married on June 17,2005 He was the only man I ever truley loved. In Jan 2008 I found out I was pregnant with our first child (she's due in Sept.) On April 9, 2008 after suffering from a seizure disorder John passed away. I know what your going through and it sucks. Unfortunatley we only had our husbands a short time. But we do have our memories. Hold on to them. When you're having a bad day think of all the good times the two of you had and smile!

I am sorry for your loss.