Dying of Grief

My wife died suddenly last July.  I am doing a lot better although I will still have those sad moments when I am thinking to myself how much fun it will be to tell my wife about something that just happened and then realize I won't be able to.  Immediately after I she died, I didn't realize how sick the grief had made me.  When I would try to eat, my mouth would turn so dry that I could hardly swallow anything.  I could only sleep for two hours and couldn't get back to sleep.  I finally went to the doctor when I was getting a prescription renewed and my blood pressure was alarmingly high, easily enough to cause a stroke.  He prescribed some pills that helped a lot.....maybe saved my life.  I am still not myself yet.  Maybe I never will be, but I am not in pain like I was in the first days.  I hope that everyone out there has better sense than I did.

Iusedto Iusedto
61-65, M
7 Responses Feb 10, 2009

thank you for responding to my story . I am new to this site . but i can relate to your pain. i also take alot of medications to help dealing with it. when i cant sleep i play around with my computer . i use to take alot of cough medicine to make me sleepy. im glad its summer now so i can use the pool. i too dont think i will ever be the same again its hard being around happy married couples for me and then i think about my husband. kathychubbyos

i to had trouble sleeping , i even turned to alcohol to drown the pain and then i ended up in the hospital. its no fun being single again i miss the company and having someone to talk too kathy

All of those things are a normal part of the grieving process. You just have to move through them at your own pace.<br />
I really don't remember at what point I was suddenly almost "normal" again.<br />
I don't think that I will ever be the same person that I was, but the days were gradually a bit easier to bear.<br />
I am still incredibly sad and miss him so much, but it's no longer at the point where it affects my health.<br />
I am so sorry for your loss.<br />
I hope you find a way through the pain again.

i lost my husband in Feb 2009, my condolences to you, i don't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time, and i find this site is a really good way to talk to others in my situation, Take care of yourself,and take one day at a time, thats all we can do until we are able to cope better.tessa.xx

i also lost my husband in feb 2009 and it still just feels like yesterday to me. i still wake up without immediately remembering he is gone forever. i dont take care of myself like i should. he is all that i ever cared about. i hope its not as bad for you. luv camista.

I never believed I would ever truly live again after I lost John, I just floated through the days like an automaton. Things are finally becoming real to me again and that in itself is a whole other experience. Things I did while in so much pain astound me now. <br />
I hope you find solace here amongst all of us, and may God bless and keep you.

I understand all too well. You need to take care of yourself; your lovely wife would want that.

My condolences on your loss. I lost my wife last March. The pain has been unbelievable. I too could not sleep and still do not sleep all that much. Although the pain has subsided, the loneliness has not. All I do is reminder of all the things we did together. I have dated, but it does not feel right for me at the moment and I am cheating the other person because I am not really there, I am elsewhere. I hope you keep getting better and achieve peace soon!

i feel just like that too. i lost my husband in feb 2009 and he was the only thing that made my life worth living. i'm glad your pain has subsided. mine is just as bad as the night i found his body. not one single day in 3 yrs has it been any better for me. and the loneliness is unbearable at times. the only thing that makes anything better for me is pharmaceuticals that put me to sleep becoz in my sleep I see him and don't miss him. i hope all of us achieve peace soon!