I Don't Know How to Feel!

On Dec. 28,  2008  my husband was hit head  on by a drunk driver. The  driver died in the crash.  My husband died 13 days later from his injuries. At the time  of this crash my husband and I had a  strained  relationship.   He as  I have  since  found  out was in an active affair  with my sisters oldest  daughter  22.  I also found  out  that  he met  and was seeing  another  girl half his age  in  town.   I  don't  know for  sure  if  these were  physical  or not.  The one with my niece I   knew  about I just didn't  know it had gotten as far as him calling  baby  and  babe. Funny thing is is out of all things that survived the crash his cell phone was not touched. It was unfortunately a very enlightening experience. I  didn't get the phone  back until after he  died. Now  I  am lost  at how  to feel.  We had  been together  for almost 23 years  when he died. We  had our  ups and  downs. We have two sons 9  &  20. I  don't know what to feel  right now. I know  that  I  never wanted  this  to happen  and  I  hurt for  my sons. This  is  so  hard. Huge  gapping  wounds.

lala43 lala43
41-45
2 Responses Mar 9, 2009

Strained as your relationship may have been, You must still have love for him. We can't always know what is going on with the people we care about. The things we find after they are gone isn't always pleasant, but I think right now you need to concentrate on you and your sons, not on the problems you and he had. <br />
There is time enough to deal with that. <br />
If you need to vent.... Then by all means come on here and vent away. Plenty of people to help you out.<br />
My prayers go with you and your family.

My condolences on your loss, whatever the situation between the two of you at the time. I am sure there are parts of you that are relieved that the problems are gone and parts of you that are grieving the loss of a partner and individual who shared a life with you for some time and fathered your children.<br />
I hope that you can feel more clarity with each passing day.