I Miss Having Someone Here,

Lately,  I have been feeling lonely. When my husband died in January everyone was around calling...coming by...now it  seems  like they have just  disappeared. I still need them. I wish I had my husband to help me with all the decisions  I have  had  to  make.  I can't tell you how  many times I heard a  heart felt  " If  you need  anything  please let  me know"  If your a  person who has  a real hard time asking for  anything that heart felt statement really doesn't help. I just would  like  them to show up and say what  can I help  you with today. Or  call.  Something. I still  am hurting and broken. Sometimes  I  can't  even seem to get off the couch. Oh well I  guess that's just life.

lala43 lala43
41-45
5 Responses Mar 21, 2009

I know just how you feel, I lost my husband unexpectedly at home on 24th Dec and I had so many people coming round to see if I was okay, but now it's stopped and now I don't see anyone. There life carrys on but I feel like mine is over. I sometimes stay in bed all day, I can't sleep at night I just think about him and cry. The sheer loneliness is unbearable and the house is so cold, empty and silent. People say it gets easier I don't think it does, I think we just learn to live with it.
Take care lizzie.

I know wht you mean. my husband died a little over a yr ago and my friends left me alone to. They seem to beleive your over it and better, if they see you crack a smile over anything, they don't undersand that grefe comes in waves. that you don't get over it and that it takes years to even feel like things are going to be ok. they mean well thats why support groups do so well you need to talk to people in simmeler situatons. like here with us. i am sorry for your loss and hope you will find it eaiser to talk to us if you need a shoulder to cry on hugs<br />
Beth

I am going through the same thing...My husband past on the 18th February, we were married for five years. Still were in the honey moon phase. Were always together never alone...And now I am as lonely as it gets.I pray that it will get easier for us.

Welcome to EP lala, I read your stories. Even though I can't really know the depth of your pain I can certainly extend my hand in friendship. Please feel free to message. Let's talk about anything you want to talk about.

Lala,<br />
<br />
You really have to take that step and call your friends. Just call them and tell them, "I need you. Please come by." I am sure they would be there if you asked; mine are. Sure, they sometimes get wrapped up in their own lives, but a quick, "I miss you," gets them here in a hurry.<br />
<br />
Something else you need to remember; your friends really don't know how to deal with your grief. Not that you are necessarily carrying a shadow of sadness, but many of our friends truly believe that their presence is often more heart-aching than healthy for us. We really need to let our buddies know that we need them to come and talk about our lost loves; that the tears are freeing, and that from these talks we sometimes gain happiness in remembering.<br />
<br />
Call your friends- I am sure they need to know you need them.