I Am Missing My Angel

In sep i lost my angel he was the love of my life and i am lost without him.  we had so many dreams, now i dream alone. i dream of him being here in my life with me, beside me, holding me, i am 45 and i thought we would grow old together. It doesnt seem fair we only had 9 years together. it took me a lifetime it seemed to find him and he was gone in a blink. he had a brain aneurysm and never regained consciousness after the surgery,so i could tell him how happy he made me and if he felt the same, i miss him like so much, and it hurts so bad. i live in a world now of confusion, i function each day on auto pilot. somedays i dont know if im going or coming. 

lostdeva lostdeva
7 Responses May 1, 2009

I have also just lost my best friend in all the world, on April 13 my husband of 51 years died after living with lymphatic leukaemia for8 years and lately with squamous cell cancer in his face and ear. He decided against surgery and chemo, we had a good quality life , doing all that he wished to do. Of course like you I am desperately sad, I heard these words just now from a friend and they have helped me tremendously. `It is as it is, your life will never be the same as it was, it is as it is`, I took it to mean that however much I ranted and raved, cried and sobbed, it is not going to happen that my love will return to me, I must stop thinking, " I wonder what Mick is thinking", he just doesn't think in the same way
I am so sorry for your loss, I do know what it is like, feel the love of people around you, go well.

im so sorry for your loss,it is a confusing time ,my husband died feb 2009 it too was fast, and i was in a daze for months,i tried to go with the flow as far as my kids grandkids and friends were concerned,and then realised if i was ever going to get on with my life (just as he would have wanted) i had to do it,so now if i dont want to get up on occasions,or go out i dont,and i have found its me time i needed,healing time,grieving time,me time.now i dont have to push myself to get up each day,since i know i dont have to "put on a face for anyone but me" im happier,still missing him so much it hurts at times,but now remembering the love we shared and life we had more than what i have lost.keep your chin up and do whatever seem right each day for YOU.good luck and happiness to you,tessa.

I'm sure he is still with you and is truely being your angel....look for signs I'm sure he's there....do you think of him and then a song that reminds you of him comes on the radio? If yes, I believe that's a sign. Just look around, you just might find parts of him. Good luck you have the strength

I too am sorry for your loss. Your husband would have wanted you to continue life and enjoy each new day as best as you can. I lost my wife in December 2007 and I feel as if the fog is just starting to lift. I have kept busy by family and friends dragging me around (thank God for family and friends)<br />
Time will help heal you. The pain and loss will never go away. I try to remember the years we had together and how much i enjoyed them with my Nancy. I can never loose those memories and thinking about it most often brings a smile to my face. <br />
God bless you and hang in there. You will survive this and go on to be blessed again. There is a reason i believe for everything, it is up to us to out and find it. <br />
My wifes passing reminded me how fragile life can be and that we need to embrace every day we can and enjoy it to the best of our ability.

I am very sorry for your loss and I understand "autopilot'" Sometimes I think that is a good thing. I gives our body time to rest. Please feel free to talk to me at any time. I am not sure I can help but I would be happy to try. Starrie41

Hello Lostdeva,<br />
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It has been two years since I lost my John. We had 14 years of marriage and together for 16. <br />
I had a hard time when John first died,because it happened so fast that I didn't get a chance to tell him good-bye or that I loved him. <br />
<br />
I had so much guilt for awhile, but I know he loved me. I am certain your husband loved you as well. Don't doubt it. You seem to be very strong. I know what it feels like to try to find meaning and new dreams when you thought everything was set. It's hard. I'm not sure I can do it even now, but because his love made me strong, I am going to try. He often told me not to put my life away if he were to go before him. It's not about things getting better or easier. It's only about everything changing. <br />
There are many of us here, so feel free to talk to any of us. We will be there to offer each other support and comfort. <br />
Message me anytime you need to talk.

I'm so sorry about your loss i hope you feel better and i also hope that everything works out for you too but don't worry because you will see him again one day and also that he will always be looking down on you.