My Story...

I am a former cutter. For nearly ten years of my life, I coveted anything sharp enough to pierce my skin. Now I don't have a specific reason, it may have been that I was sexually abused at a very young age by a man that mother was involved with, it could have been watching my mother almost murdered in front of me, or maybe becasue I was made fun of and bullied by most other kids and some adults. Whatever the root cause, I felt unwanted, not trusted, like a burden. It caused me to become very detatched from the world around me.

My outlook only got worse. I started cutting in Grade 8, and it quickly turned into an addiction. I craved it. It turned into a routine, come from school, find a sharp object and cut. It made me feel alive, for a couple hours anyways, till the swelling went down.

This went on for the rest of my school years. It wasn't an everyday occurance but a common one. People knew, my mom, my friends, other adults in my life, but I don't think anyone understood. I was never strong enough on my own to seek professional help. Unfortunately I am still not, but I over came it on my own. I came to realize it was a very strong addiction, I was no better then the average crack addict, always thinking of the next hit. 

It has been 2 years since I last cut myself and I still think it about every day. My wrist (my area of choice) aches for it, just like that average recovering crack addict will always ache for the drug.

I could go on and on, but I guess what I am trying to say is, YOU CAN QUIT! I did and it has lifted a huge weight off of me and opened up new views on the world and myself.

Keep telling yourself that you are not alone, and others have broke the habit. Never lose faith in yourself, you are #1 in your life! Love yourself, love the world, take time and breathe, smell the flowers, try new things. Make a list of 100 things you want to do in your life and read it everyday, add new things to the list as you accomplish them.

I wish everyone love. Deep down you are strong and valuable, do not let anyone tell you differently!




Musique Musique
1 Response Mar 21, 2009

im soo glad u were able to quit... i hope u continue to stay "clean"... thnx for handing inspiration to people who cant cut