Kinda Recovering,...yet Still Quiting

I started cutting in the fourth grade, may 2 1999 the day that my grandpa passed away. Between that time and now cutting has been a very easy but now so enjoyable outlet of releasing pain, anger, stress, emotional and physical discomforts, insecurity, fear and many other emotions. In 2007 i had to go to the hospital to get my fingers glues shut because i was attempting to break apart a razor but instead it came back it me and slit two of my fingers open. I guess the sad part for me is that out of 11 years of cutting my parents never asked once why they always asked where the cuts would come from, but i would just tell them it was from sports or climbing thins,...but they always believer me for eleven years they never asked twice they never secong guessed themselves and asked me a second time. I dont know that just kind of gets me. Ill be 21 in july this year and im still fighting the urges and the need to cut. I recently feel back about four days ago and the number of cut i did was outrageous. A little over 200.:( just kinda over whelming now that i look at it. Sometimes i just wish i had someone who cared in family to dig deeper someone who tried to understand... No one in my family knows and i have a few friends that now....i just wish that my family could know and be there for me and help me. i dont knwo thats kind of it for right now. Theres more to my loife but thats when it started . Ive came along way from when i started i just wonder if it will ever finish....?

lezaroo89 lezaroo89
22-25, F
Feb 11, 2010