Still Am a Reject.......

I have always been a black sheep of my family since I was a teenager, I took over the role once my only brother left home.   Today, in my 50's I still am.  But my older brother has earned brownie points the last year or so.  He has been my best friend all my life, and now I feel betrayed.  We had both endured horrible abuse and neglect in the hands of both parents.  My Dad was a cruel active alcoholic and my Mom had MS with 5 kids.  My brother has ached for a father all his life, so to win my fathers love and affection over me, meant he tells my personal business to my father.  Things that should never be said.  So, I am THEE Black Sheep now, standing alone.  My brother continues to call everyday to check up on me, but he can never be like a friend again.

Although I have grieved the lost of my best friend, now I have my family of choice and life goes on.

WarriorMom WarriorMom
51-55, F
7 Responses Mar 14, 2009

I love you too flour.

ive always been the black sheep and will remain to be.i love you-hugs

ive always been the black sheep and will remain to be.i love you-hugs

Thanks grits, I have told my brother how I don't want him to repeat things, and tho he denies having done so, I know he does. 1st he would tell my Dad, who in turn would tell my aunt, who in turn would mention it to me about it. This happened on a few occations. I did some trial runs, and it never was kept quiet. I guess my whole family has a big mouth now. I do have a family of choice, but not having someone I grew up with who would truly understand becuz they've been there is probably the worst part of the loss. I'm Ok, just sad now.

this is so sad. have you told your brother how you feel? Is there no way for you to again feel as close to your brother as you once did?<br />
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I wish for you the chance to once again find someone to feel this close with. we all need that someone who can sit and hold our hand.

Thanks Sis, it feels good you stand by my side.

You will never be without this family member, sweetie. You are loved like a biological sister and a best friend. I am also the black sheep of the family, but we will never stand alone. We have each other! (((((HUGS)))))