I Want To Be Where I Should Be.

After a year and a half, I've definitively figured out what and who I really want in life. I'm so restless though because I'm impatient to fix what I need to in order to get there. The way toward my happiness seems so long and so uncertain, that I can't stop thinking about it. I want to be with the one I love, and the one who loves me so badly... but it makes me anxious to think that after this summer, it'll end up being a long distance endeavor that also involves other people. People are going to get hurt, and while I'm fairly certain I won't be one of them, the uncertainty makes me anxious beyond belief. I need to sleep... I need to relax... but I can't until I'm secure knowing that everything will be okay and I haven't jeopardized my happiness by doing the stupidest thing I could have my freshman year of college. We're still in love, and it's sickeningly obvious... but until I hear him tell me that I'm the only one he wants, I can't relax.
Worst part? I sound like a whiney preteen. =/ But after a year and a half of speculation and inconsistent communication with him, I'm certain that he is the one I'm supposed to be with.
mariellalove mariellalove
18-21, F
Aug 4, 2010