Keep It In The Family

dad would always want me in his bed. he said it was to cuddle. i was 12 to 15. i thought it was normal . he said if i got scared. or cold. to meet him in his bed. he would give me more allowance if i did he was pretty cruel. a rich man but would never pay for me to do sports or go to a priv school. even though he had a rolex. so it wasnt much surprise i became a prostitute. then dad started touching me. he found out i was a prostitue and thought i was fair game. i left home. i figured he picked on me coz i was retarded and ugly. my mum never wanted to know me. i was always finding school difficult. i did apply for normal jobs and try to get  a house. but in australia, they are snobby arseholes. with my big forehead and receding hair at 29 im not at all attractive. i used to think that 50 bucks was alot of money. i tried high class hooking, but ofcourse i was dreaming. now . im still a loser. after all this time. i wish i could go to heaven

jessijay jessijay
26-30, F
2 Responses Mar 6, 2010

I am really sorry to hear all the terrible experiences you went through. You sound like a nice person. Life is really hard for many of us and for many different reasons. But if we stick together we can help each other through and maybe one day meet in heaven.

I'm sorry for the circumstances you have experienced. I hope someday you are able to regain what has been lost of yourself and self worth. If possible, seek help. I remember wanting to go back to heaven as a child, hoping it wasn't too late for the angels to take me back. <br />
I wish you inner peace and a better life. <br />