Life As An Adult Child

I do not know how to begin my story. I am a 40 plus adult feeling like a 5 year old. During the the last 5 years I have dealt with 2 suicide attempts from my mother, who suffers from alcoholism, and an attempt to arrange work around regular life. I was very lucky to work at a full time job where my father was an officer and was granted time off to help with my mother's recovery. The pressure of helping with my mother and working was enough to send me into a downward spiral. My mother had just made a second suicide attempt and my father decided he was not able to cope with the aftermath. I was the one to take on the responsiblity of care and recovery and then deliver her to rehab ( second time) with hope for the future. I was really surprised to experience a spectacular anxiety attack after I delivered my mother to the rehab in Cali. I checked in and ordered a meal of a club sandwhich, french fries, coke, and a slice of chocolate cake. I was able to eat my sandwhich but as soon as I bit into my cake the nauseau struck along with the pounding heartbeat, numbing of the face, and numbness of the left arm. Of course I believed I was having a heart attack and called the front desk to order an ambulance. I was SO frightened being in a strange city with no family around for support. I was able to reach my father and let him know him know what was happening. The diagnoses for my condition was a panic attack.
tanya1969 tanya1969
41-45
1 Response Jan 22, 2013

You have had a lot to deal with over the last few years. I am sorry that life is so tough for you just now. Panic attacks feel awful, but can be managed. Wishing you peace and good health.