It Hasn't Been The Same.

We had our son almost two years ago. Shortly after my husband had a vasectomy, it hurts so bad. We talked about kids before we got married, he was fine with one, I thought he might reconsider after we had one, but he did not even stop to think to give it a chance. I wanted to be open to more, after several miscarriages and a difficult pregnancy I just wanted to have the option, I think he wanted to make sure there was no more heartache, but that doesn't make it easier.

After that we have had so much stress, we have money troubles and we are losing our house. My husband is in some sort of bubble and doesn't want to do anything about anything, he keeps saying that he thinks I have everything under control. I ask for help and he starts and then just stops. To get anything done I have to nag and beg and it still isn't enough. Things just seem to be falling apart.

We still have a decent sex life, he seems happy, it's just me. Our son is wonderful, he is wonderful with our son, he is honest and loving and faithful, and I am still just so sad.

I made a new friend. I think I need to stop talking to him. It is nothing romantic, and even if it ever were, nothing would come of it, we only chat online, about stupid stuff, and he's half a world away. But I laugh with him, and I think about chatting with him because it is just a few minutes each day were I don't have to worry about something, since none of my "friends" here have time to talk or visit. But the other day I was thinking about one of our conversations and my husband looked at me and asked me what I was thinking about because I was smiling "the smile you only have when you are thinking about (our son)"and it makes me think, I shouldn't be talking to someone who makes me happy like that.

I just don't know what to do, I don't know how to talk to him about being sad. I tried to tell him about it, but I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to be sad either...
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 14, 2013