Im Sad Every Minute Of Every Day

im sad every day and every minute im good at faking it so others think im happy but i cant run away from myself and my mind i dont care what anyone else thinks of me or my story i just need to let it out because i cant keep it anymore i hate my school i hate my subjects i hate my friends i hate where i live i hate MYSELF and im just sad because theres no point in being happy and looking at all the good because the bad out ways the good i cry like every night a reason thats unknown to me when im really sad i pull my hair and bit myself some times i stick my head in a bucket of water or try and suffecate myself in a pillow but im too much of a whimp to actually go through with it.When i pull my hair i do kind of feel better but i just dont know i was like this from the age of around 8 i remeber drinking soap and other washing and cleaning things i dont even know why but i did. i just can be bothered any more sadness is just in me im sad right now i've got tears rolling down my eyes and just feel like crap every one tells me at 16 i should be looking forwards to the future and i should be enjoying myself. Enjoying myself for what im ugly tall hate looking in the mirror see no joy to life and im actually tired of being sad and myserable but dont know what to do. I guess im pathetic and being stupid but i have this (problem) i should say for about 8 years now and its just constant what do i do anyone please just say anything that might help?????

N78910 N78910
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 27, 2010

I felt the same way when I was your age. It gets better with time. When you are out of high school it should lessen... At least that was my experience. I do wish I had talked to more people about how i was feeling though; a therapist, a counselor, someone I could trust. I wish I wouldve started to heal then.. You are very loved and I hope you find the courage to talk to someone about this or to continue to have a conversation about it on this website. Stay in touch. Don't fade. It is all worth it in the end. It makes you a better person.

somebody somewhere loves you,especially god.hang in there and keep ur head up,please dont be afraid to ask a real person for help.always ask god for help as well