~sad~

~I don’t even know if this is the right group or not, I just need to throw this somewhere out of my chest~

 

I have been feeling very lonely lately.  I have no friends, I thought I had a best friend but she turned out to be a selfish person who only cares about her feelings and when it comes to my feelings she always believes that I over react or act like the victim.  I’m not a perfect person, there were times where I screwed up things with her but I always come to my senses and say sorry to her, but she never once said sorry to me when she acts all rude and moody with me.  In fact, she sends me messages insulting me, cussing me and telling me that she doesn’t care about my sh!th anymore and she has lots of other wonderful friends that she cares about.  Those messages crush me and tear me apart.  I thought she was sending those messages because she was upset or in a bad mood, so one day I pretended that I didn’t read the message she sent me and she said “it’s your choice whether you decide to read or not but I want you to know that I wasn’t over reacting and I meant every word of it”.  I feel so worthless; she has lots of negative effects on me, she made me go so depressed that I started doing stupid things to myself, I can’t even admit to those things because they are so stupid.


Everyone including my own family and teachers think we have a perfect friendship. She makes me very sad.  The reason I feel lonely is because she is not there for me and I have no other friends which I can count on and talk to. I honestly don’t blame her for not being there for me since I’m the kind of person that hides their feelings and pretend that everything is alright because I simply don’t trust others and I’m sure that others have their own problems that they need to deal with. I thought about ending my friendship with her but it’s hard since I have her in all of my classes, five days a week.  Therefore, it’s easier to put up with her attitude but it’s killing me.