Sd, Alone. What's Wrong With Me?

I'm 14. I've cut and wanted to kill myself. But I've pulled myself not to cut since the last time I did. But now, all I feel is like I'm alone, no one understands. I'm a disapointment to everyone. My mom, my dad, my tearchers, class mates, and friends. I feel like a horrible person for some reason. All my friends say I'm not, and I talk to them some about this. But they don't understand. One friend says I need to get help and that she's scared for me cause I shouldn't always feel like this. And I'm not insane, I don't need help, I've tried to get it and it doesn't work. I don't know... I just feel like a big weight is over me, not letting me breathe and get up. Is this normal? I don't know. I just feel like I wanna get away and just, be somewhere else. I feel like I put on a fake smile every day, and laugh just to have people think I'm okay when I'm not. I feel like falling apart inside. I want to cry. I want someone to just know, and hold me, say things to me, yet I don't. I don't want them to know and think I'm stupid or weak or dumb, or depressed. I just want to be normal. I don't know what's wrong with me......
Strawberries103 Strawberries103
13-15, F
May 8, 2012