Was It Dream Or A Message ..

I feel sad, my boyfriend died of an overdose about 7 months ago. I have haven't cope at all .. I have been just a gray gaze. At, least that's what I can explain it feels like. I am mad and upset he had to go this way. I find myself up at nights thinking why. But, for the last month, I've been better. until, last night I have a dream about him haven't dream of him since he has passed. I remember being in a strange room, I've never seen i can't speak to him he just holds my hand and hugged me, I just word to him, I am sorry I wish I could have done more, he shakes his head. I see his index finger on his right hand point up to show me something I see someone on the floor looks like they are sleeping, as I turn with a confuse haze he draws me closer and I see it's him on the floor, as I scream stop why are you showing me this? but no sound comes out. I then realize there is all but silence. He can't speak to me as I can't speak to him. Next, I find myself reading his lips that even in that moment when he knew this was it his last thought was of me.That was always with him. As, tears roll down my eyes he wipes them clean his his hand and nods please don't cry I am okay. Suddenly, he hugs me again and say whispers you were always the one, i yell with I can hear you I can hear you! But, fades away before I can see him again. I awoke with tearing running down my face and my whole body covered in sweat. Was this a message from him? or was it a dream just to help me cope and know its okay to cry? or was a combination of them both? .........
glitterysparkles glitterysparkles
18-21
2 Responses Jan 6, 2013

I am so sorry for your loss what a horrible to have to go through I believe this was a message from him telling you that he loves you and considering the manner in which he died his life was full of pain i think he wants you to know that your love eased that pain but sometimes it just isn't enough the grieving process takes time allow yourself that time and eventually the pain will not be as acute as it is right now you have been through a lot take care of yourself and know how much he loved you for i also believe it not easy for the dead to communicate with us so he truly loved you and appreciated you thats what your dream says to me.and ok to cry

To be very honest, I think he was there with you and wanted you to know he is okay and that you should never blame yourself for what happened. I think he had to make sure you are alright as well before he can really leave.