Thinking W/my Head Vs. W/my Heart

I have this FEELING. Not sure if its my brain hurting, the PTSD, maybe Im doing it to myself, or is its just SADNESS or REGRET.(or self-pity?)  Ive had it for a long time- I cant even remember when it started. Maybe its brain damage. I dont have it all the time.....like when I'm doing anything else, I am not in a constant state of despair. But any time I am alone- I feel this awful, unbelievably sad, pitiful feeling of hopelessness. It usually revolves around my accident and all that Ive lost because of it....yet....
I live in an expensive apt. in southern california, Ive got a nice boyfriend and a supportive family. Im college educated and Ive traveled a bit...so, obviously- it seems like it happens whenever I start thinking with my emotions and not with my brains--which is what I want to do all the  time- think with my head and not with my heart. My mom can---she always thinks with her head--so do my brothers. Why dont I?
I just forget....all the time. Forget to think with my head. I always come up with these great insights.....but I forget them.....because of my brain injury....
Lauraleedee Lauraleedee
46-50, F
May 12, 2012