Sometimes.. My life feels so pathetic. I spend hours on end just laying in my bed in the dark not doing anything.  I don't want to be like this anymore.. I need help but I'm not sure where to go.  I purposefully start arguments with my boyfriend and put him through pain so someone else can understand what I go through and I'm tired of apologizing for it, but I can't help it.  I'm tired of being able to feel when I start to come down, but I can't do anything about it before I hit rock bottom, no matter what I do.  I don't want to put myself through pain anymore when I'm like this.  I want to be normal and not have to worry about how my mood will be at certain times or how I'm going to act because of it.. I wish I knew what was wrong with me even... He's only going to put up with this so long before he gets sick of it and this turns out like my last relationship..  I know I wouldn't want to deal with someone like me.  But I don't know what else I can do.. I try so hard but there isn't anything I can do..

Amay408 Amay408
18-21, F
5 Responses Feb 9, 2010

I know that feeling ):

well, first of all you need a definate chief aim , a goal, a purpose , something that gets you excited when you think about doing it , set a really big chief aim for yourself or a small one whatever makes you feel comfortable somthing you can believe in. Do something for yourself so that you can feel good about it. Find a purpose DO NOT wait for it to come to you. . .

Until you are dead or completely paralyzed, there is always something you can do. Here are some suggestions.<br />
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Make a choice: Pick something and stick with it for awhile. One action is to visit the doctor, a great idea, because there may be a physiological element to your problems. This may mean medication is in order. Also, there are ways to train your mind to deal with the feelings you get AND with the tendency for you to think about them all the time. A doctor can get you started in a good direction.<br />
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Omniel is right about meditation. Remember that meditation is not simply sitting and clearing. Many folks get into that state of mind by doing some kind of brutal exercise. Like yoga. I am not joking. Try holding some of those stances for more than a second. Or try running, swimming, or weigh lifting. The physical action helps to calm and focus (or defuse) your mind.<br />
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Also, do you need a man, really? If having a boyfriend makes your entire situation way more complicated that it is to begin with, and if you really want to get better, maybe you should consider just working on you, Singular, for awhile, not you, Plural.

No, I never have.

I have tried and the good feeling only lasts a moment.. It never stays. I don't know what triggers these feelings.