My Pupukat Died

I am so sad. I can't bear this grief. My sweet pupukat died two days ago. She had diabetes, but we could never get her diabetes regulated. I blame my vet and most of all I blame myself. Everyone said I should go get a second opinion, but I didn't. I don't know why. It's partly because I was a poor college student and it would mean I'd have to start all over. My vet wasn't very attentive and I don't think she knew what she was doing or really cared much. It had been a year since she was first diagnosed.

Then last week she slowly started to stop eating. I called my vet to say that she was eating less and the vet said to increase her insulin. Then on Wednesday she stopped eating completely. My vet thought it was pancreitis or lymphoma. I took her home that night, which was a mistake, and she was so sick. She moved every ten minutes from one spot to another. She wouldn't eat or drink. She threw up in the middle of the night and finally in the morning she was so sick she went to the bathroom on the floor and then laid in her urine. She was too weak to move. I wanted to take her to the emergency vet but I couldn't afford it. Then the tests came back and it was ketoacidosis. But I think it was too late by then to really save her.

She was transferred to the overnight and weekend emergency clinic on Friday night. There was no change in her. She was still lethargic and not eating or drinking. She had lost so much weight. The first vet was really nice and would call me in the middle of the night and early in the morning to give me an update. She really listened to everything I said. There was really no change. I was preparing myself for the end, but wanted to give her another day because the vet said there was still a 50-50 chance she could make it. The vet said she probably wasn't in physical pain but was very uncomfortable. Then a new vet came on duty, and she said that I had two options: euthanize her or send her to another clinic for an ultrasound because pupukat probably had cancer. This vet said pupu was in pain, but she admitted that she didn't examine her carefully. She said she didn't want to treat her, and there was nothing she could do. I couldn't afford to send her to another clinic and pay for an ultrasound. The other vets said that we should just get the ketones out of her system and then worry about whether she had cancer later, but this last doctor said we should find out if she had cancer. Everyone was telling me so many different things. I finally decided to put her to sleep. She died in my arms at around 3:30 pm. It all happened so suddenly. I really hate that it was that cold, uncaring vet that did it. It all happened so suddenly and quickly.

I blame myself for pupu's death. Whenever I think of her, I always think of all of the times I was too busy to play with her or all of the times that she would get really comfortable and happy in a place and then I would move to another place or another city.

I have very little money left now. Over the past year I have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on vet bills and now this last time has eaten up almost all of my savings. I don't understand why the vets charge so much money. It's more expensive than what a person is charged when they go to the doctor.

I hate going home now because I know the apartment is empty. I keep on thinking that I see her or I feel her climbing up on the bed and walking on the bed and I turn over and she's not there. It's just my imagination. If people came to my house now, they would think I was weird because I have bought about 15 picture frames and have put photos of pupukat up all over my house so that whereever I go, there is a photo of her.
pupukat pupukat
9 Responses Sep 13, 2010

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I will never have another pet again because of all the incompetence and uncaring there is in just about every vet I have been to, and thats alot of vets. Very sad that our pets lives are in these freaks hands.

you should feel proud of yourself for trying everything in your power to save your cat. you may think you wasted money but there is no amount not worth trying to save a pet. you did the right thing dont ever think otherwise. i really feel for you. nothing will every replace your precious cat , im sure it was like a child to you like my recently deceased cats are. I hope you can find solace in the fact you did the most you could have. you are an excellent human being in my mind and I really respect you.

I've had 5 cats in my life. Google "Rainbow Bridge" and take comfort in that. Also, remember that you loved your pet and you did what you thought at the time was the best thing to do. Don't ever second guess yourself. The SPCA is always ready for you when you feel enough time has passed from your grieving. Believe it or not, the pain will slowly go away over time. One of our cats lived to be 18 years old. I was 30 when when got him and 48 when he was put to sleep. He was a HUGE part of my life. You are never alone. There are many, many people out there like us. Cats are awesome !!!

I'm so sorry to hear about your Pupu but you cant blame yourself, just like us humans kittys get old, sick and die. At least you gave your cat a good life and I'm sure she appreciated that! When you're ready maybe you can find or adopt another pet.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Pupu but you cant blame yourself, just like us humans kittys get old, sick and die. At least you gave your cat a good life and I'm sure she appreciated that! When you're ready maybe you can find or adopt another pet.

I would be in terrible shape if my cat died.!!!!!<br />
He is almost human. We have a good "relationship".<br />
No one is responsible for their pets' death. Animals die just like humans.<br />
Sometimes it is just harder because they give unconditional love.<br />
Take the time u need to heal, and if having pictures around the house helps you, then do it. :)

How not to feel for you.... hold on @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@