Miserable

My life is so sad and pathetic right now. Normally my life is great, so I don't wanna seem like some constantly depressed, angsty teenager.

On July 15 my parents announced their divorce. The next day my dad went on a date with his girlfriend. My mother was taking anti-anxiety pills that made her in a bubbling, crying, depressed mess. Thankfully she was off those pills in about 4 days. The ones she has now are 1000x better.

But my dad continues to go on weekly dates. And if his phone is ever turned off my mom assumes he's with his girlfriend. If he's at work and she doesn't know where, she thinks he's with his girlfriend. She keeps talking about 'moving on' and all that, but all she does is think about it. And this really bothers me because I've been more of a daddy's girl than a mommy's girl.

My dad is supposed to be moving out by the end of the month (so Saturday) and when that happens, my mom will probably get even more paranoid.

But today I tried to relieve some of the tension by making cupcakes for everyone (because let's be honest, who doesn't love cupcakes). And for the 2nd batch, I wasn't prepared. So when the timer went off I scrambled and put my laptop on the floor. And I guess my blanket fell on top of it. I was gone for about 5 - 10 minutes. And in that time my dad came downstairs looking for something and stepped on my laptop screen. The screen isn't cracked and leaking. But there is a black blob about the size of a toonie from dead pixels. I'm not mad at my dad, I'm mad at myself for being so stupid.

I try talking to my boyfriend, but he's not that helpful. All I want to do is unload how crappy and ****** and miserable I feel. But he just stops, or points out things, or tries to lighten the mood. All I want to do is figuratively 'release the poison' so that I can heal. But, to stick with my snake poison metaphor, he wants to wrap the wound will it's still fresh.

I just want someone to read this and, I don't know. Comment. I don't want/need to hear 'awww, it'll get better. cheer up.' I just wanna hear someone's blunt opinion.
ZiggyQueen ZiggyQueen
18-21
2 Responses Jul 28, 2010

Here is a different perspective for you: I am 49 years old and I wish I had a daughter like you because even though you are experiencing such pain, you still try to comfort those around you. Your mother is fortunate to have you.

i know where you're coming from. even before my parents announced their divorced i've been in kind of a dull stupor. it's been the opposite for me, i've liked my mo a little more than my dad because my dad was more violent to us, and i've felt i've always had to watch my back when he's around. my mom was the one who started dating right away, and made my dad move out even before it was all official. but my mom is on antidepressants all the time, and she's crys and yells at us alot more now. it's depressing. <br />
my grades plummeted, and even to this day i dont see much of a point in anything i do, and even now no one seems to want or need me. <br />
i hated the pity talks and the times when people said, youre in charge of your life, cheer up!! whatever. the cold hard truth is, you're probably never going to be the same. your boyfriend sounds nice, and seems to care about you, he just wants you to be happy, because he probably doesn't know how to deal with a girl who is falling apart.haha, no one does. that's what makes it so hard. anyways, cherish him.<br />
im sorry that i dont have any suggestions to make it all better, just know there's another 15 year old girl with a broken family out there.