I'm Sad Today

Been in this particular chatroom since when i had an operation...during my healing period Ive come there to chat and just make friends..Ive chatted with a 22yr old dutch guy from amsterdam..first i ignored him..coz hes a soo straight forward person..just telling me everything he wants to say..so I started to Ignore him eventhough he keeps telling me he liked me a lot...and geez does he really loves to swear when hes annoyed..for almost a year he keeps telling me he loves me and he dont care if im older or what..told him im scared of him and annoyed by him for his straight forwardness and the swearing..then slowly ive seen a change....when im down hes there..when i was broken hearted from a guy i liked hes there...always..he accompanied me with patience and care...months go by..i finally fell for him..and loved him..but the problem now is..hes been insecure..he wants to see me everyday on cam..talk to me whenever hes free..Im a working mom..he knows i have a kid and that Im taking care of my mom and dad...i admit some promises i made like..I cant come online for the time we agreed on coz of some circumstances or that whenever we talked i keep saying brb coz im taking care of the chores. He proposed to me already fro marriage and told his parents hell come here this coming june...but then last two weeks ago..we agreed to meet on cam at 5pm my time but coz of the time difference he got it miscalculated...i went on earlier to tell him that my dad asked me to go to a funeral of a relative..so i cant come..hes been soo mad coz he said we agreed on meeting at 8am his time...but told him its not 8 am it should be 10am his time...he ignored me for days..i said sorry for so many times...when heĀ  finally accepts my sorry...he said at those times he decided to just leave me than be hurt coz i dont my promises...then he said coz hes been so mad he cancelled his tickets and go back to work..if he didnt cancelled his tickets he should be here May 28....been so sad but ive accepted it...he said hell be here this august instead..then a day passed that were ok...weve talked..then night came..I saw hi online using mobile..keep messaging him till morning the next day...i know its morning there...he can just say sorry im a bit busy talked to u later...but then he just logged out without saying anything..then a few hours i got an email of him telling me his phone dont go in ym...is that possible??i saw him online from night till the next morning and now he suddenly tells me his mobile cant log him in???I know hes lying...I erased him from my ym and ignored him when he messaged...his last message is yesterday....till now i havent heard from him..Im hurt..Im sad...and im missing him..i cant decide what to do... X(
mgey mgey
26-30, F
1 Response May 20, 2012

not beating yourself up over it is the first thing i would do. althought i know thats easier said then done. if lies are spread threwout the relationship, it wont work. so i think anyways. reguardless of what i think the real reason im here is because im currently going threw a sad "phase" (so i hope) now, and it has been upon me for quite some time now. and if you need anyone to talk to, i got you.