Today Is Not A Great Day

Feelings of sadness just keep building up lately. I was in a really good place for a while and i remember ages ago it was so hard to leave that dark, sad and exhausting place i got lost in, so i dont want to go there again. But feelings of sadness are begining to wash over me.

I know you make me feel like this, but im stuck with you.

Im scared ill never be strong enough to stand up to you. Im scared that you'll always try to control me mentally, physically and intimidate me. But im also more scared of myself, im scared that I'll always be weak near you and that i'll always be weak. I've lost my confidence in general in everything I do, afraid of making mistakes, not wanting to do the wrong thing. You make me want to sit at home and not leave, cause im sometimes afraid you'll be angry if I leave the house.
Because doing the wrong thing around you means you'll be angry and i know what you do when you get angry. But the more i hold on to not wanting to make mistakes and be perfect, i feel stuck like i cant move forward with my life. This makes me feel lonely for some reason and sad, really sad.

valentina5 valentina5
18-21, F
1 Response Nov 28, 2012

wowww sorry your in such a situation my friend