Not Ready For Goodbye.

Recently my uncle passed away from battling kidney cancer. He was diagnosed in December of 2011 and fought to keep his life until October of 2012. He was a great man and anyone could tell you he was a fighter. The first surgery he had was at a hospital that was about three hours away from where I am living. I did not get to make it to the surgery because I had to attend school. I couldn't concentrate the whole day because I was very anxious to know if the surgery went well or not. When I got home my mom called me to inform me that after the surgery my uncle did not wake up and that he went directly to ICU. That weekend I went to the hospital to stand by his side. I did not see the strong uncle that I knew when I walked in the room, instead I saw a lifeless body hooked up to what seemed to be a thousand machines. He was on life support for a couple of months and every weekend I would go and spend the night at a hotel so I could be with him. Finally after many days he started to get better and slowly but surely he started to come out of his long sleep. As days went by he finally got off of life support and guess what? He even woke up and eventually started talking. He spent another month in the hospital that he had his surgery and finally they said that he could go to a rehabilitation hospital closer to my home. My family finally thought we were moving in the right direction. When he got moved to the new hospital he seemed to be really responding to everything that the nurses were helping him with. He stayed there for a couple more months until he said he was just ready to go home and the doctor agreed that it was time. He still couldn't walk yet, but he could move around in a wheel chair. By this time it was the end of the summer and my family decided that we were going to have a cookout in honor of my uncles coming home. Little did we know that it would be the last family gathering together with him. Two months went by and my uncle was having a hard time breathing by himself. His daughter decided to call the ambulance to take him to the hospital. We thought it was just going to be a routine visit because he had trouble with asthma for years, so I went along to school. I later got a call from my dad that I had to go to the hospital because it wasn't good. The reason he couldn't breath is because he had a fluid build up in his stomach, the doctor drained the fluid but all of a sudden my uncles blood pressure went dangerously low and he went into a coma. When I arrived at the hospital the nurse pulled my family away and told us that he wasn't going to make it through the night because he had already lost blood flow to his legs and his eyes were dilated,which is a sign of things going for the worst. I stayed at the hospital the entire night and I was in the room the next morning when he passed away. I honestly thought he was going to make it through everything when he came home and that he was going to get stronger. I haven't been able to really talk about this to anyone because I have been trying to be strong for my mom and the rest of my family. I think about him every night and what it would be like if he were still here. He loved life and everything it was about. Sometimes I forget he is gone and I'll try and call him. I'm graduating from high school this year and all I want is to look up in the crowd and see him there. I don't know how to heal when everything I do reminds me of him and what we used to do together. Sorry for making this story so long, I've just held it in for a while and I needed to get it out.
Jwje14 Jwje14
18-21, F
Dec 2, 2012