I Just Don't Know What To Do Anymore

Hello, i'm a university student.
Let's just begin with saying, they say you either love or hate university, and i haven't had the best start.

I have had problems before, but nothing quite like this.
I started university, and i knew on my first night i just couldn't be alone, then it got worse, now my flatmates aren't friends with me, i hate my course, i'm in the middle of dropping out, my ED has risen again after previous problems, and i'm starting to suffer from depression and anxiety in this tiny little box room.
I'm so far out for anyone i know to come visit me often, and it's a city, you can't do much without money, which i don't really have to spare. I try to go home as often as I can, but it's just not as easy as that for me unfortunately.

I have a boyfriend, I do tell him all my woes, and bless; he does try and understand but it's just not the same over technological mediums him trying to help, the pain eases when he comes here, but we're both at university, so even that's not often.
I am currently at counselling, i've only just started, i'm really hoping it's going to help, if not i don't know what i'm going to do, i'm trying to quit my course but i'm bound in a contract with my accommodation which means if i left i'd have to pay a substantial amount of money, that i don't have without my student loan.

On top of all these problems, I have gained an extra 8 hours, I can't sleep, it's unfair how the thing I want most is just be at least to sleep some of the pain away but I can't; it's like my body is just torturing me and I just want it to stop. I don't have any friends here, i'm scared to go out on my own due to it being quite a dangerous city.

I'm just confined to this tiny little space for 24 hours, almost like i'm in a mental house, it's making me go crazy one day at a time.

I'm so sad.
Laurynpaige Laurynpaige
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 14, 2013

I read this book recently that encourages the concept of self-teaching. I think you should try pursuing an interest on your own. (Not as a replacement for university or anything. Just for fun.) Maybe developing a new interest can lead you down paths you haven't considered.

I hope you find help through counseling!

Try to gel involved in a study group.
What course are you doing? If its some Computer Science or Electrical Engineering related stuff, maybe I could help.

It's Law and Criminal Justice, i've tried joining study groups, my course isn't exactly nice, and there is no-one that I could happily be accepted with, i've picked the rotten course out of all of them

Law and Criminal Justice does seem like a course with lot of scope. I don't really know much though.
Do you like it? What are your job prospects after that?