Finaly Destroyed.

Hi, i'm the guy who shared last time a story " save me from my self"
befor yesturday, i felt something strange about the relationship between me and the guy i love, so i said in my mind that i should see him on skype to
tell him something, so i told him that i'm going to do my first step
it is about getting a visa to europ and then to usa...however i believed him that he want me, but my feelings said that i should make sure that he realy want me, befor i do steps for that, so when i told him about that, he had difficulties to answer, and finaly he said " mi casa, su casa" it is a spanish expresion witch means " my home is your home", after the conversation on skype,i noticed he was not normal like every time i see him, so i said to my self that i should send him a message on email, maybe he will answer what he realy think...

I sent him a message in witch i told him " i know it is not normal
to be crazy in love with someone older then me and far away, but this
is my problem, and to get solution for this i have to see you to have
intense time, love and affection.. with you...you are the only one person
that can cure me" and i told him that i'm realy sorry for loving him.

yesturday, He replied on the message he said " i cannot help you"
i was in the university library with my friend, it was full of students
when i read the message my friend asked me what going on, i tried to answer but i couldn't, i just exploded crying....everyone was looking to me,
thanks god my friend was there..they ask him what happened but he said
that he doesn't know too...after 2 hours i was able to reply to his message...and walk again...

now, i'm destroyed, because after all what he said about having a good
time together, i remember when he use "WILL" he say "i will hug u,
i will....we will..." according to my modest knowledge on english
"will" means an action that will happen in the futur...
as i was naive and still young and never experienced love yet,
i believed all what he said, so my love for him has grown up so much...
I wonder if all the americans would did the same thing for me...
it is not good to play with people feelings...

i thogh the love was the only one condition to be together...

i sent him this web site adress to read my story "save me from my self"
to know something that i hided from him...

I don't know what to do with my life now, suddenly my dream that i always
want to realize, has gone, and now i see the life defferently, without
a dream, without nothing...
now and then i'm completly destroyed i got the lesson of my life, if it
will still life after now...........sorry guys.