Random Tears

 

Who am I kidding?

My life is wonderful…..really it is.

On the outside I have no reason to feel the way I do.

Then why does my heart feel this way? Why does it hurt so bad? Why do I cry when I’m alone?

It isn’t fair to feel so sad. I must be crazy to feel this way.

Maybe tears are my way of releasing my stress. The only way to let the pressure out. After personifying the smiling perpetually confident person for so long, maybe I just need to unwind.

I need to just be me. Raw, uncensored and unbarred.

 

We enjoy warmth only after being cold.


We are grateful for light after seeing the darkness.


How can we truly experience joy without knowing sadness?

 

 

Why must I be punished for feeling sad though?

People seem to become angry at me when I can’t perform anymore. I guess they just expect it.  I am always so upbeat, happy, and energetic -the one who makes everything fun.

When I feel down though, they all leave.


When I can’t act like a happy perfect girl, no one wants me around.

When I’m sad, they are gone.

 

And I’m alone.

And it hurts.

I can’t stop crying.

 

Please don’t hate me for feeling down….I will act better after awhile.

I promise.

 

Tomorrow will come, and I will be there smiling happy.

But for now, please just let me cry.

 

Please don’t hate me for it.

 

 

stormynightsky stormynightsky
22-25, F
11 Responses Mar 14, 2009

Shouldn't friends be people who stick by you when the goings gets tough? Or are friends people who simply hang around when the dark clouds blow over?<br />
<br />
I believe there is no reason for you to be all upset just because others doesn't accept you, you for who you truly are...<br />
<br />
If you have to pretend being happy all the time to keep those people close, then doesn't it mean you deserves better?<br />
<br />
Be true to how you feel and who you are, because you should live for yourself and not others...

Thank you guys very much for your comments. <br />
They are very sweet, and so nice to hear!!! <br />
<br />
After reading them I feel a bit better. <br />
<br />
Thank you.

Thank you so much for sharing--honesty!! You are a strong confident woman. I can truly realte because I believe we all go thru' those times. And it's okay to cry, it's okay to be alone and get out whatever is bothering you even if u are not sure what that is. <br />
<br />
I learned some time ago that putting your feelings on paper is half the problem solved. And there are no problems, only solutions. You are human. You are allowed to have a little down-time. You are allowed to sometimes--JUST BE!! Even by releasing your emotions on paper you are taking power away from whatever is eating at you.<br />
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I remember many times, cause like you, If I don't have a smile on my face someone would say to me, "what's wrong?" And I remember thinking to myself, "Well, do I always have to be happy."<br />
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Don't worry, you will be smiling again in no time, I bet you are smiling right now!! Right??<br />
<br />
I used to hate it when someone would say, "This too shall pass." But now, I am thankful for that because I have learned that it always does pass!! <br />
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You are aweosme and very loved!! Keep smilin', keep shinin' BE BLESSED!!

you may even feel better tomarrow

I need someone to talk to. <br />
<br />
I cry all the time and never used to. I should feel more complete

You can always be yourself around me, whenever we talk!<br />
<br />
And if there is something that i could do... just let me know and i do my best. I want to be someone for you who you can always depend on. ;)

I am sad as well. I cry when I am alone and I honestly should be happy now.

Yep...new av. <br />
Someone (*cough cough* TheLittlestHobo *cough*) told me I need to switch it. <br />
<br />
:)

It's okay :) I was just saying the truth. I can relate to the feeling of knowing what is right, but finding it hard to be that way. Just like I know I should believe in myself more, but it's harder to actually put into action.<br />
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I hope you feel more freedom with your emotions some day. It not something that anyone should have to apologise for.<br />
<br />
Is that a new av? I like it :) The puppy is adorable!

Thank you music spirit.<br />
<br />
Your comment is the nicest thing I've heard all day.<br />
<br />
:)<br />
<br />
I "know" mentally that it's okay to feel down, but it's hard to allow myself the freedom without feeling guilty.

You're asking a very relevant question here - why must you be punished for feeling sad indeed? Maybe that's part of the reason why you feel hurt inside since from what you've written, it doesn't sound like you have a shoulder to cry on. Try not to listen to what other people say when you're sad, because getting angry at you for being down is unfair. Don't feel that you always have to please. We have to be ourselves at least sometimes. <br />
"It isn’t fair to feel so sad." - don't say that. We all have a right to our emotions and we are all human. We can't be the "perfect, happy" person all of the time and trying to do so makes things worse because it is such a strain. I'm sorry that those around you don't seem to see that :(