I Am Sad
i've worked WAY too hard to NOT live my life in sadness. and i've been pretty darn happy a lot of the time. So when i AM sad...i guess i don't really like to show it...i don't want people to think i'm always that way....
but, today, i am sad. I feel so worn down by my boyfriend & his problems...i can handle his behaviour for a while, but at times (like now) it becomes so consant I can't bounce back & i end up where i AM at the moment. Just really sad, and *hates to admit it* well...lonely now. after having him be so mean to me, i think i just want someone to come hold me & be nice. sad but true.
Oh I made my 'support calls' - got some moral support, talked it out, am a bit better...but still just as lonely. Good thing i don't have guy friends or i'd have to avoid them so as not to collapse in their arms -- i don't wanna be immoral or do the wrong thing. I don't wanna have to live with that. EVen though i'm only with my so-called boyfriend becuase i don't yet have the $$ to leave. Going to school, workin on sellin ,my art & designs...takes time.
what do u call a boyfriend/girlfriend who's not REALLY that - only cuz of temporary circumstance toward the end of a relationship (or in his case..a bully-ship lol - he tries anyway) ?? oh i think it's called a pain in the butt!!!
*sigh* i don't wanna be sad. i'm trying to be STRONG! but right now, i wish i had someone to lean on. : ( oh well, i'll be good, this feeling will pass
aren't u bummed out now that u read this story??? h ahaa
