My Decision...

Not too long ago, I made the decision to save myself for marriage. I wasn't raised in a Christian home, but I gave my life to God recently. In His word, he says to save sex for marriage and I believe what He says is right. Sexual Immorality is everywhere and there are some consequences for having sex outside of marriage. I know that I don't want to get pregnant, have STD's, and have my heart broken because a guy only wanted me for sex. Im still a virgin, so I want to keep it that way until God decides that it is time for me to meet someone and get married. I used to feel embarrassed about my virginity but I am proud of it now. I never had to deal with the pain that stems from premarital sex and I want to my virginity to be a gift to my husband on our wedding night. Im saving myself because it is what God wants me to do and to protect my body from the numerous types of diseases out there. I'm learning how to control myself because premarital sex is a big risk. To everyone that is saving themselves, stay strong and continue to respect your bodies.
krs89 krs89
6 Responses Nov 3, 2011

As a Christian I struggle with this in particular, its comforting to find others who follow this.

@GenteelAnimal:I can't answer your question right now,but I will put some serious thought into it.

Thanks. Sorry if I stole your thread....'s ok. ur speaking from ur experience and u have some very good points. thank u for commenting on my story

Also, please don't feel this to be an attack... I just read over my comment and it is kind of high on the adrenalin content. I guess the tragic thing to me is how little thought goes into this question prior to making a lifelong commitment. Maybe we can't really believe that a time could come when we had a diminished sex drive, or maybe that, yeah, sure it'll happen, but everyone else seems to be OK with it. The reality is that it so often takes one spouse completely by surprise and the other can't fathom why there is a problem. That communication divide is so vast that couples end up feeling defensive and under attack - and so fighting and quiet resentment can take the place of real communication. By this a wedge is driven between husband and wife and they continue to drive it with what each thinks is a valid response. The emotional pain is devastating.

So - just think about it and have some real honest talk with your bf prior to making any promises.

i dont have a bf, but i want to be with someone who has the same beliefs on premarital sex. I am single right now, but I will take everything that u said into consideration. I'm sorry about what u are going through and I pray that u and ur wife will work things out.

Kudos to you sir, for remaining faithful through this. I can't imagine being in that situation. My wife and I spent much time discussing things of this nature before we married, and you're correct, it's highly important to do. On the same note, krs89, it's totally right to save yourself. But be sure that yourself and your future husband do have these talks, and are totally open and honest with each other.

2 More Responses

I respect your choice and I believe it will take some discipline to keep to it. Don't be afraid of that!<br />
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I want to ask you a far more important question, and I'm not actually expecting a real answer because I think this one will take some thinking. And that is, How do you plan to develop, nurture and feed your sexuality AFTER your marriage? Its a real question and most people who approach marriage never think to ask themselves anything about it; some are even fearful of it. But the happiness of their marriages depends on it.<br />
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I don't mean what techniques you intend to use to get your jollies - nothing like that. That is the easy stuff. I mean: Do you believe that a healthy, long lasting, active sexual relationship with your husband is part of your vows to him? Have you thought about later, after the kids arrive? Sure, there will be times when the whole physical thing ebbs and flows, but let's look at it this way: Do you intend to remain a vibrant, sexually active and lusty spouse for whom intimacy is among the most precious ways to commune with your husband? In your 40s? In your 50s? 60s? 70s? Or are you among the very large number of women for whom, once the kids are on their way, sex is no longer "appropriate?" Please be very clear with your fiancee about this prior to asking him to promise a single thing to you.<br />
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Do you understand that when your fiancee makes those marriage vows he will find himself bound to you, whether you remain sexual or not? Do you have any idea what a terrible risk he is taking by uttering those vows? <br />
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I've been married for over 25 years to the same woman, whom I love with all my heart. I have never been unfaithful and we've raised a couple of wonderful children who are now adults who make us proud.<br />
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I'm also an unwilling celibate and have been for fifteen of those years. I am trapped in a marriage by my own promises, by the letter of the law, by the sanctity of the Christian sacrament I undertook to share in, but most profoundly by my own heart which will not let me go, even a little. My spouse is averse to touch, fears intimacy, and dreads anything remotely suggesting sexual contact. My own marriage bed feels every night like a cold grave after the funeral party has left. It has become the loneliest place I have ever experienced, most especially when I can feel my wife asleep in the arms of her medications. I feel my life has been traded for a preferred dark, empty room and the betrayal of my vows and hers permeates every fiber of my being. I cannot stand it any longer and our marriage may be coming to an end because of it.<br />
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Please, please don't do this to your husband. Try to understand and respect his vulnerability. See the behavior pattern developing in yourself, so that if it does begin to happen you will remain aware and can avoid becoming a sexual refuser when your children have all been born. Understand that a woman's unilateral shutting down sexually in a marriage is far worse than an affair. So if it ever comes to such a choice, do the right thing and leave him, but don't condemn him to a slow death of the soul.

me too god bless you and stay strong what ever happen.

and may God bless u too joudimas :)

Me too. God bless you.