True Love Waits

I'm not saving myself for marriage because of religious beliefs. I'm saving myself because I think it's the right thing to do. I wouldn't want to get to my honeymoon and explain to my new husband why he isn't the first one to love me that way. I want to marry a virgin, though I know it's rare, lol. It'd be nice to know that you'd be learning how together. :)

oobergoobergreengirl oobergoobergreengirl
26-30, F
15 Responses Dec 18, 2008

I understand your sentiment but as someone who was you, almost 20 years ago, I regret it now. I waited until marriage and our sex life was exciting at first, but never moved beyond a sort of adolescent phase. We never intimately bonded, we were both sexually immature... Just keep this in mind when you embark on life with your future partner. Communication is key to a healthy sex life, and sex is completely natural, not something to be anxious or ashamed of.

This did not work out for me. Husband turned out to be asexual. I have had a very tough life because of it. He waited until he was 29 (I was his first and as far as I know his only) He simply was looking for a mother figure.

...I just hope that your marriage doesn't end up asexual to

Super impressed by your post... I must say, I agree with you 1,000,000%. It is quite rare to find such values and morals in our younger generations nowadays, especially with the media, pressures of society and weakness of the body. However, it is achievable, trust me. You will make some lucky man quite happy one day! Carry on and best wishes!

That is beautiful! And it is very selfless of you to do that and save yourself for your future hubby. But, honestly I have a hard time believing that you only ever have one true love. I feel we are cabable of falling hard for many different people, but I also feel that though it may seem negative I feel you are just sharing different chapters of you life with many others and also expanding your life's novel by adding many different people. I for one, lost my v-card to my boyfriend of three years (two years at the time). We lost our virginity to each other. and while we may just be together forever or not, I will never regret giving it to him. I feel he was a part of that chapter in my life and If I do not marry him the man I do marry will be the next chapter.

I don't understand. Love ba<x>sed on sex isn't love and your husband should love you for you, so sex shouldn't even be a big deal.

I was a virgin on my wedding night and I can guarantee you that it was worth the wait. I was thirty years old when I got married. I can still recall the experience. Part of what makes the experience joyful is knowing that it is exclusively shared with the one person you vowed to have and to hold. <br />
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My wife, on the other hand, was not a virgin. Three years into our marriage, she started kicking me out of the bed and until she wanted a second child. Once she got pregnant, she refused to touch me for three straight years. I tried to ask her what is wrong but she refused to discuss it. Soon everything became my fault and we went through hell. I believe she was ashamed of something. <br />
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It really is painful knowing that my wife has had more sex outside of marriage than she did with me, the man she vowed to love. Now we are splitting up and yet, I have not lost desire for her.

As a much older -- o.k., virtual fossil on this board -- virgin, I do feel for you, but experience with hearing my experienced friends has told me that you should get a very good lawyer: Your wife is probably cheating, and may have been cheating for quite some time. Sadly, you can't make someone love you that doesn't, but you CAN make sure to have extremely frank and honest discussions of what you want your married sex life to be with your future wife BEFORE you two tie the know. Best wishes, man.

I am so sorry to hear that. One may fall and the other continues to sit on the pedistool. Sometimes we can't keep our head above our hearts. And you may always care for your wife, but sometimes you must think about your well being.

It\'s not because she felt ashamed. Maybe she doesn\'t want you, now, because you\'re SECRETLY acting superior to her for your not having a sexual past before marriage? Unless she told you she is ashamed of herself, (although, I cannot imagine WHY, as I would NEVER marry someone without knowing we were sexually compatible, first) it\'s pure conjecture on your part, to assume she is. It\'s possible, you were sexually boring. I am not trying to be mean, here. I am suggesting that this ridiculous notion that virginity is something we GIVE to someone. \"\"\"OOOOH I am GIVING him my hymen. What a GIFT.\" is so archaic and absurd. Have sex or don\'t because you want to or don\'t want to. Moralism only applies to people who are moralists. Social mores imposed on society by dead religious people doesn\'t make a virgin more PURE than anyone else 0 just because they, and their bible SAY SO. All it means is...she is a virgin. That\'s it. Refusing to use sex to beat someone else up for their sexual past is WAY more \"giving\" and admirable, in my opinion. What is this 1692?

It is great to hear you are saving yourself for Marriage. My husband has been my one and only.<br />
Unfortunately he wasn't a virgin but said his first time wasn't special at least mine was.<br />
Good on you for waiting be proud of who you are.

Thank you all for your comments! It's really good to know that alot of people would wait for true love. :) This world might actually make it. ^_^

Sex without true love isn't worth much at all. Trust me. I hope you find someone who will truly love and cherish you for the special person you are!

So very true. so many people (especially the younger generation) see 'losing their virginity' as a trend. But, those that are mature and true to themselves know truly what that moment can be about.

Way to go! I'm doing the same for that reason, plus religious beliefs, plus I think it's just smart. I wish there were more girls like you out there...

So nice to hear that! South Australia there is a huge movement going on for that same reason!....Good Luck, My best wishes!

I am proud of you and I am glad you are

Thank you :)

This is beautiful.