I Believe In You, I Have Faith In You, I Trust You . . .

So where do I start . . . You have single handedly have been the most important force in my life. I will start by saying something to you, that I hope you will one day understand and come to believe me when I say, "Your Love was always enough."

There was a night, a Saturday night that mattered. It was the last time we had a night that mattered. I told you how my love for you always worked. You see, my love for you didn't just come out of thin air. I don't just start loving for the hell of it. You gave me love, and filled me with all of the love I ever showed you. You talk about how it hurt you to see how much I loved you. How much I cared for you, and you didn't feel the same. You couldn't love as much as I did. You are wrong. You loved me, you filled me up with that love and it over flowed into what you saw. I didn't just decide that I was going to love you that much. The love you gave me created the love you saw, felt, and longed for.

You filled me with love from so many different things. Every time you smiled at me. Every time you walked up to me and kissed me. Every time you held my hand. Every time you lightly grazed the front of my body to let me know you were there. Every time you came to bed. Every time you rolled over to hold me. Every time you grabbed my arm to put around you. Every time you intertwined our legs in bed. Every time you ever laughed. Every time when I was mad and you would make me laugh just to be ornery. Every time you poked me. Every time you ran your hands down my chest. Every time you ever said you loved me. There are a million things that you did day in and day out that filled me with love. I only wish you could have seen it in yourself.

I have so much to say to you, but not enough time and space. I know you would keep reading this no matter how long it would be. But, I don't need you to be sad, or full of sorrow, or thinking about what ifs, should haves, could haves, would haves. I never lived like that, you know that. So here is what I have to say to you.

1) No more what ifs, should haves, could haves, would haves. It is all about what you did, are doing, and will do. Nothing else matters.

2) I was wrong. You told me, and I agreed, and even told you again - that no one would ever love you more than I did. No one would ever treat you better than I did. You just didn't love me like that. I was wrong. You see, I was limited to the fact you wouldn't accept my love. If you let someone, they will love you with everything they have. It will be more because you will let it be more. It will happen.

3) Take my Chevelle, with no excuses, and drive the coast. Play the tape, listen to the songs, let the windows down, feel the engine, feel the ride of car without a care in the world. Take a month, no excuses, and feel free. Know that I named her after you . . . never told you that. She is so much like you, sleek, beautiful, but if floor it, she will run you over!! No worries, I will be watching and smiling with my too ladies together.

4) Last, you know what is coming. You ARE A GOOD PERSON. You are full of courage, although misplaced at times. You are easily the most courageous person I know. You are full of love and you are capable of loving someone like "that". You are very strong. You never really needed me, it was always in you. I just showed the path, never once did I lead you. So if you are good, courageous, and strong, unless you let it . . . FEAR will not run your life!!

I believe in you, I have faith in you, I trust you . . .
worknplayhard13 worknplayhard13
36-40, M
Sep 23, 2012