Pregnancy Worries

I'm 29 years old .I've been married for going on three years to my best friend.I always knew I wanted kids someday ,but as I reach my thirties I have so many worries about being pregnant and becoming a mother.I never really been around babies that much ,but I worked in day cares and I absolutley love teaching and spending time with older kids.Why can't I get over these what if's .I'll be quitting my job in a few months ,a job that I've done for 11 years and being at home will allow me a lot more time if kids should come along .I just fear the lifestyle change I guess.I feel so much pressure now because of my age and so many people asking when it will happen.I don't know .I'm also afraid if I have a baby it will feel like such a stranger to me and I won't have an attachment to it , has that feeling or fear ever been experienced by anyone?

loulou789 loulou789
26-30, F
6 Responses Feb 22, 2010

I love children, I helped my older sisters with their babies and loved doing it. I just don't know if I can do it with someone I won't be able to get away from. If it is my own child I can't call someone and tell them to come get the kid when I've had enough.

I am also afraid of becoming a mother. I guess I am afraid partly because of my relationship with my husband. It is not the best. I don't see it getting any better but hell I could be wrong. I don't want to bring a baby in an iffy situation. I am 26 and I've been married for four years. I don't want to wait too long to have a child if I decide that I do want one no matter what. I am just cowardly I guess. I worry to much.

I suppose some of the fear might be that I have never bonded with any children not even my own little sister. It makes me nervous that I am just too socially awkward to handle children.

hi me too, I am nervous alot that I would not be able to handle the pain of birth or bond with the child or raise it correctly. My H just moved out because he is upset with my insecurities. I have failed my marriage. When I go to a counselor they just tell me don't have kids. So, I guess I can never be the wife that my husband wanted. I am wondering if I should give up or try going to daycare or nurseries and start getting familiar with kids to be sure whether I don't really want them or i am just scared.

Dear Poet76, I have since quit my job and have experienced a lot of anxiety with dealing with that and now trying for a baby.I am seeing a psychologist and its helping me get through my emotions ,but ultimitly I won't get over my fear of pregnancy until I face the fear and get pregnant.So in the meantime my husband and I have been trying .I'm really scared of the unpredictability of it all,but I've gained some confidence in myself here recently because I've been volunteering at a day care center and have been handling up to five babies a day.This has really helped my esteem,and has made me realize that I am worthy to take care of a baby and all of its needs,thay really have this calming effect on me.Pregnancy still scares me ,but I figure if I can keep working around babies and my nuturing instincts kick in maybe it will be enjoyable for me .Hopefully we can both get through this to get where we long to be.Hang in there! It's nice to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way.

I could have written your post myself! I can completely relate! My husband and I are going to start trying in a few months and I am SO SCARED--basically everything that you stated that you are scared of--I feel the same way. I noticed that your post is from February. Has anything gotten better for you?