Scared of Being Alone

I am scared of people, i am afraid of interacting with people. i have only had bad experiences in all my life situations. i think it's because i have a bad attitude and get a negative response from people. i don't know when it's a propriate to say no to people. men have a power over me and i;m a sucker who can be talked into anyting. i have a weak personality.  some days i'm so depresssed that i don't wash. i'm unemployed and terrified of getting a job and going out into the real world. i'm so depressed. i don't know what to do
illyriah illyriah
26-30, F
1 Response Jun 5, 2007

Sounds like your terrified of people contact but have a stronger than average craving for love; therefore, men have used you as they please and your hypersensitive to people because you fear their rejection which also comes in the form of any painful slights or criticisms.<br />
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I knew a beautiful woman who was as a child abandoned by her mother, literally left alone to starve, she was nearly an introvert and rather dependent on the love of men and very conducive to being controlled by a man if he was a dominant controller type personality, then she felt like she was getting that parental protection absent in her childhood but the man was abusive; two fellows I knew since childhood grew up with severe inferiority complexes , very shy, and a fool for women - both had mothers who nearly hated them because resented having them as an unwed mother; in my own childhood my mother was undemonstrative in affection, rather cold but out of her deep sense of responsibility and good character she dedicated her life to giving me and my two elder sisters a good upbringing. Mom divorced my father (whom I never knew) when I was in the crib, she said he was a cruel husband. I do not believe my mother loved me and I did not love her, the relationship was more like a respectful contract. She was a great woman and I and my sisters very grateful for her dedication to us. Later, as an adult I always chose cold men to fall in love with, mistaking their coldness as love and they used me disrespectfully. I've also been hypersensitive to people, generally I do not allow people to be close to me, Yes to sex but I do not encourage long term romantic relationships with men; although, ironically I crave LOVE! I had one long term relationship, it was platonic LOVE with my only Friend, Best Friend, who deceased three years ago. It was BLISS, the only love I've ever experienced in my entire life!

So, presently I am alone and it is painful and depressing, I fear the future, but I do understand I created/chose this loner lifestyle; therefore, its possible I can remedy it . <br />
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My point is, in understanding who you really are and why you choose whatever misery you've let happen to you and choose to be in whatever misery your presently in, you by this understanding (without self-pity nor the blame game) can choose to take the kind of corrective action that really heals you. You thence go on to make wise actions in your life for less misery in the present which opens the door to happiness! Its always UP TO YOU!<br />
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Are any of these examples helpful to your understanding yourself and your problem, I hope so. Of course there's always help in getting psychoanalysis but that can be expensive!

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GOOD LUCK!