I Don't Want to Get Hurt

 I was in a relationship with a guy for 2 yrs and I fell in love with him. This guy was great in the beginning, and I thought that we'd be together forever. As the relationship progressed he became very possessive and jealous. He didn't like any of my friends, because to him they were bad influences on me. I lost my friends because of him, but I still stayed. I believed him when he said that he'd work on his anger issues. My friends thought that he hit, and they were right to worry. He was not only emotionally abusive, but he would squeeze my arms and toss me around. I stayed with him because I thought I had no one else. My parents were getting divorced and I was at a low point in life. Well at the end of the relationship he had to move to another state. I was sad but I didn't cry, by this time I had fallen out of love. I stayed with him for a month after he left. I broke up with him on our 2 yr anniversary, after going to a party and seeing all the fun I missed out on. That was almost 3yrs ago and I still have trust issues. It's hard for me to let myself become emotionally involved. I have this shell around me that I'm trying to break through. I have a new boyfriend now and he's perfect for me. We've been dating for almost a month and I'm falling for him. The only thing getting in the way is this shell that I'm trapped in. I know that I'll be able to break through it with him, but I'm still scared of giving him my heart.
kyriu kyriu
18-21, F
2 Responses Aug 11, 2007

I just want to say i know exactly how you feel. I was in a horrible relationship for 4 1/2 yrs with someone who i thought was i great guy but come to find out he was very mentally and physically abusive. The cops were constantly at our house, he was arrested twice for domestic, but for some stupid reason i kept going back or letting him come back. I have two children and it got to the point that my 3yr old was calling me nasty names. I lost all my family and friends because they were tired of seeing me like i was. One day i just woke up and had a back bone finally and i kicked him out. It was still extremely hard even knowing i made the best choice i still hurt. Then after about 5 months i met another guy who was great, perfect, amazing the whole nine yards the only thing he had an alcohol issue. The alcohol took over our relationship and everytime he drank he would say stupid things that took me back to being with my ex. After almost 2 yrs i started treating him bad almost like the way my ex treated me. I didn't trust him for nothing and he never ever gave me a reason. We broke up and he admitted himself in rehab and i still miss him very much but i've come to realize the hell i went through with my ex ex....i don't think i'll ever be able to have a normal relationship.

yes ,,love is for the very brave,if you get it right there is nothing better.I t can put you on an emotional high that has no limit and you know why you were put here on earth in this time.But if you do not get it right it can be devastating,soul destroying and although you heal maybe there is just a little bit of you that dies.So you have to be sure before you let your heart go to someone.I understand your fear and you are certainly not alone,most people have the same fearsbut you cannot be to cynical iether so probably the best way to proceed is slowly and not to commit until you are sure it is what you want.I have observed different people bring out different feelings and emotions in you.Some you get closer to.Truth is the only way with good communication and no lies with a lot of trust,I think that is the foundation to love